


Ashes

by eastwoodgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Drama, HP: EWE, Infidelity, M/M, Multi, Past Infidelity, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1691378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eastwoodgirl/pseuds/eastwoodgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashes to ashes, dust to dust; a lot like love, a lot like trust. Three years after the defeat of Voldemort, Severus Snape crosses paths with the mysterious Christian Spane -new DADA Master -and suddenly he is forced to look once more to the past he once tried to escape. The question is, will he want it back? Or will it all come down in flames? EWE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Christian Spane

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: AU. SLASH. VIOLENCE. LANGUAGE. MPREG. Slight OOC. Non-linear flash backs.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the general plot and the identity of Christian Spane.
> 
> A/N: Before you begin reading, I appeal to you, dear Snarry fans. Being that the genre this is categorized under is Mystery/Suspense, aside from giving the main pairing out please be patient with me. I will be very vague in the first few chapters (There are ten, including the epilogue, so yes, this story is complete). Trust that all pertinent questions will be answered as we go along. Please keep an open mind and heart. Severus, and subsequently, Harry, will be much, much different from my treatment of them in my other stories. With that said, I hope you enjoy the opening chapter (and yes, chapters are meant to be THAT short. I find that suspense works better in shorter length). Reviews will fuel my desire to update. –C.
> 
> OUTLINE:
> 
> Chapter 1: Christian Spane
> 
> Chapter 2: Changes and Choices
> 
> Chapter 3: Ghosts
> 
> Chapter 4: It Begins
> 
> Chapter 5: A Cursed Life
> 
> Chapter 6: Flesh and Blood
> 
> Chapter 7: Cries
> 
> Chapter 8: Stop
> 
> Chapter 9: Decisions
> 
> Chapter 10: The End
> 
> Epilogue: Everett
> 
> LEGEND:
> 
> "Dialogue/ speech" 'Thoughts'Notes/ flashback

**Chapter 1: Christian Spane**

"It seems that all of your credentials are in order, Mr. Spane. All I can say further is, welcome to the Hogwarts staff."

"Thank you, Headmistress McGonagall." The man called Mr. Spane politely intoned with a slight bow. "I will not let you down."

The old witch smiled.

"Minerva please, Mr. Spane –"

"Ah, then I must insist that you address me as Christian then, Minerva,"

Minerva McGonagall eyed the man in front of her. Christian Augurey Spane looked pleasant, youthful and learned, most especially. At first she did have her misgivings about hiring this relative stranger for the recently vacated post of DADA Professor (which until then was thought by a rotation of Aurors).  _'Merlin, I thought young Harry already broke that curse,'_  she mused sadly. But here they were again, in need of someone to fill in the Defense post after that tragedy that befell Harry in his own home no less.

The formidable witch let out a deep sigh before letting her thoughts drift back to the young man she had just hired.  _'I do hope he lasts longer than the most.'_  She nodded at him.

"Very well, Christian. And good luck to you."

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

Transfiguration Mistress Hermione Granger had just finished getting her classroom ready for the coming term. She was about to leave her office when she had bumped into somebody. Books and pieces of parchment flew out of her hands.

"What –"

"Oh, sorry –" A deep voice cut in. Professor Granger watched as a tall, blonde ma bent over to pick up the scattered objects. She immediately joined him, but by the time she did, the man was already done gathering her things. He turned to her with an embarrassed grin.

"Forgive me, madam. I'm never usually this clumsy." The blonde stood up and balanced the books on one hand before looking again at the still flustered-looking woman.

"I hope you excuse my manners, I would offer a hand, but –" he gestured at his heavily-laden arms with a grin. "My name is Christian Spane, nice to meet you –"

The bushy-haired woman's eyes lit up, recognizing the name..

"Oh – you're –you're the new Defense Professor!" She exclaimed. "Welcome to Hogwarts. I'm Hermione Granger, Transfiguration Mistress –but you can call me Hermione. Nice to meet you."

"Well, call me Christian then, Hermione." The man flashed another winning smile. "And yes, I'm filling in the vacancy –I just hope I last longer than a year –" At the pronouncement, Hermione's face visibly fell. Christian noticed this. He frowned.

"I'm sorry, Prof –Hermione. Have I said something to offend you?"

Hermione forced herself to look at Christian. The man's quick-silver eyes were awashed with concern. She shook her head. "Forgive me, Christian." She sighed. "It's just – it's just – it has been tough. My friend you know –Harry Potter, he was –"

"Say no more," Christian nodded somberly. "I apologize for my apparently rude comment. I did not know he was close to you. The Headmistress as given me a rough background on the circumstances surrounding the vacancy I am filling in." He handed over the books back to Hermione. "I must be off and get settled in then –international apparition lag and all."

The witch nodded. "I understand. It must be a long way –from the United States?"

"Ohio State," Christian affirmed with a soft smile as he turned to leave. "See you around, Hermione."

"You as well, Christian. Best of luck for the coming year."

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

It seemed that Christian was meant to bump into people that day. He was heading past the Grand Staircase to get to the Defense Corridor, when a black blur hit him like a bludger,

"Oof –excuse –"

"WHAT ON EARTH? Are you blind?" A harsh, caustic tone greeted the new Defense Professor. Christian lifted his face and me the unrelenting gaze of –

"Professor Snape," The blonde man breathed almost too quietly as he stepped back. The ebony-haired man raised a perfect eyebrow in mid-rant. His face immediately transformed into a graduated scowl as he gave the younger man in front of him a once-over.

"It's actually Snape-Malfoy now." He frowned. "I apologize, but am I supposed to know you?"

Christian smiled –one that did not reach his eyes.

"I think I know you fairly well, sir." He moved to close their gap, holding his hand out to the Potions Master. The latter eyed the proffered limb rather warily.

"I do not mean to be rude, but again I ask –how do you know me?" The man's obsidian eyes latched on to the other's silver ones intently. A few seconds of the impromptu staring match later, Severus Snape averted his eyes pointedly. Christian smirked. "I do not appreciate the intrusion in my mind, Professor. I do hope it will not be repeated anytime soon." The blonde man said lightly, his extended hand, now long dropped to his side. "But to answer your question, I simply studied you in my Masters class."

Severus' eyes showed momentary surprise, but he quickly schooled them back to impassiveness. "Indeed? I most certainly have no knowledge of myself being included in any curriculum whatsoever in Britain." Christian let out an easy laugh.

"Not here, Professor, but in the US. I'm sure Minerva has mentioned that I was schooled there." He then winked at Severus. "The name's Christian Spane, by the way, in case you did not catch it –replacement for the Great Harry Potter. I do hope we get time to get to know each other better, Severus. I'll see you around." Without further ado, the blonde turned to leave, a transfixed Severus Snape in his wake, gaping at the young man's forwardness and cheek

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

**"** _**STUPEFY!"** _

**"** _**REDUCTO! You should have just died then, Potter! You should have just died battling the Dark Lord! Why did you have to live? You're worse than Devil's Snare! But you know what? Your luck ends today –today, you will DIE! You will die just like you should have –and everything you took away from me would be mine once again! SECTUMSEMPRA!"** _

**"** _**SHUT UP! I don't know what you're playing at! You have everything I could ever want! You have him! He –he chose you –after everything, he still chose you! He left me for you! What more can you gain by doing this! INCARCEROUS!"** _

**"** _**PROTEGO! Do you think I'm that stupid? Do you think I would not find out what you did –what you carry inside of you? RELASHIO!"** _

" _ **What –NO! Leave me alone! Just please leave me –us alone! This is mine! Mine you here me? I will not bother you, just let me –"**_

" _ **You must think me a fool! Do you think I do not know how he would react if he knew what you carried inside of you? He will leave me again! Again! I will not let that happen! Your delusion ends tonight –you and that bastard of a freak –PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"**_

_**Still, silent horror.** _

" _ **You see, Potter, this is how it ends. You die alone, in this very Manor you built, and no one would be the wiser. They will lay a marker with your name on it –and nobody would evn know of your tiny little secret –FLAMARIA FLAGRANTE!**_

_**Consuming, raging hell-fire began to scatter like dust around the small, otherwise darkened room.** _

**"** _**Goodbye, Harry Potter. Say hello to the devil for me."** _

_**A man lay in petrified silence as his fiery death came creeping, inch by traitorous, horrendous inch.** _

_**Exactly eleven minutes later, everything in that small room and the Manor that it was a part of, was promptly turned into ashes.** _

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

The first Staff Meeting of the year was in full swing by the time Severus had arrived. It was the night before the students were due to return. As always, it was Minerva alone who acknowledged his arrival with a smile. True, he had been recognized as a Spy for the Light in the last war and had been accepted as such by the public, his peers and colleagues, but recent events thrust him back to notoriety and scorn. He quietly took his seat next to the Headmistress, his face not belying his deep-rooted annoyance.  _'What do they know? Nothing. They lost a savior, a mascot, a figurehead. They cannot possibly understand.'_  He discreetly scanned the faces that ignored him pointedly. Upon reaching the one directly across him however, he stopped. Christian Spane had a curious look on his youthful face. He was watching the Potions Master rather intently. Severus tried to brush him off with a glare, but it only made the silver-eyed man smile. Severus shook his head inwardly.

' _What is wrong with this idiot?'_  After their first encounter, Christian Spane had most definitely made good on his word of trying to get to know the Slytherin head better. He was almost like an annoying shadow that showed up at the most inopportune moments –offering assistance, asking inane questions about his well-being –even going as far as showing up at the Potions Master's quarters one fine evening, toting a bottle of champagne and armed with this winsome smile. When Severus' gruff tone and furious scowl had failed to faze the persistent young man, he had resorted to rudely slamming the door of his quarters at the new DADA Professor's face. However, no matter how brashly he treated Christian, it seemed to not deter the blonde in his efforts to make Severus' acquaintance, if not, it appeared to fuel the young man's resolve even more.

' _Bull-headed brat, do I look like I'm in want of friends?'_  Severus remembered thinking the day he had finally gave in and sat down for tea with the determined Christian Spane. He steeled himself to be bombarded by foolish inquiries about his body of work and even his personal life, but to his surprise, they had spent a quiet fifteen minutes together, enjoying tea. Christian turned out to be quite a pleasant company; he never asked, never pried, never over-stepped any of Severus' personal boundaries –at least so far. It was quite refreshing for someone like Severus that another should genuinely desire his company. His husband always whined and complained about the smallest of things whenever they weren't sticking their tongues down each other's throats; His colleagues would only approach him when they needed something –even Minerva. When was the last time someone had just spent idle time with him?

" _ **What is it with you and you constant urge to have tea with me?" Severus had finally asked. It was the third time he had sat down to tea with the enigmatic young man. "Despite your earlier pronouncement of needing my help and what-not, you never ask nor say anything during these meetings. Am I missing something here, Spane?"**_

_**The DADA Professor merely smiled as he was wont to do during theses meetings. He took a small sip of his tea before gently replacing his cup on the side table gracing the corner of the almost-constantly deserted Faculty Lounge. His silver eyes shone seeing the Potions master's perplexed countenance.** _

" _ **There are more things you can learn about someone just by quiet observation. I am a firm believer in that."**_

" _ **Is that so?" Severus challenged, mildly curious. "pray tell then, what have you learned about me in the last forty or so minutes that you have spent in my company."**_

" _ **The most obvious is that you enjoy the quiet, but it seems that that is a dead give away." Christian grinned. "You take you tea with exactly three squeezes of lemon juice –don't deny it. I can see you counting the drops with your lips –a mark of a traditional and exacting man. You detest anything sweet and you would only touch pumpkin scones after they have been dipped in you tea to wash of the extra dusting of powdered sugar. Aside from those, you always sit with your back against the wall –a sign of obvious distrust with your surroundings. Your eyes stray at the entrance to every room every so often. Your wand hand is almost always idle, as if you are about to get ready to throw a hex at the first sign of trouble."**_

" _ **Impressive," Severus found himself admitting reluctantly. "But that is almost general knowledge. Anyone who I have dealt with in the past can very well tell you those things." Christian chuckled lightly.**_

" _ **But of course. However, I think you can tell me that not many people know that you enjoy listening to music –not the recorded ones –the kind that naturally occurs like chirping birds or the howling of the wind, or the ripples in the lake." The young man leaned forward, as if about to tell a big secret. He whispered dramatically."And not many people know that you like small animals –furry ones. You can deny it, but I know of the puppy you keep just behind Hagrid's Hut. After all, the scraps from the table would be of no use to the pumpkins there."**_

_**Severus raised an eyebrow.** _

" _ **You are observant. I give you that. But given the fact that not many people take time to study my person, I can make no comparison."**_

" _ **You hate crowds, but you do not like being alone." The silver-eyed man continued. "You are confident of your capabilities, but unsure of your emotions. You know who you are, but not what you want. You are unhappy, Severus –"**_

It was a week ago. Severus remembered walking out of the conversation, confused like he had never been before. He avoided the blonde since then and today was the first time he had encountered Christian. Honestly, he did not know what to think of him. His glare had returned when he realized that Minerva was speaking to him.

"Severus? Christian was offering to coach the Slytherin Quidditch Team for you. That should free up more of your time so you could attend to your Deputy duties." The Slytherin Head turned to her before scowling at the man across him.

"He's not a Slytherin. He cannot take on duties as such –"

"Oh, but I am," said Christian affably, his lips curled into what was becoming his signature smile (Severus seriously thought that he could give Lockhart a run for his money with it.) "I have been sorted by your curious Hat just this morning –lovely thing. We don't have such an implement at Salem. I'm officially a Snake, for all intents and purposes –cunning, ambitious, shrewd…" He winked at the Potions Master.

"That settles it then," the Headmistress was saying. "Now, onto brooms for –" She went on and on but Severus failed to hear the rest. He was busy giving Christian a calculated gaze. Cheeky, observant, curious… the young man was fast becoming quite a puzzle to him. Severus could hardly wrap his head around this one… blonde hair, silver gaze, that mysterious smile –that seemingly hid a most wondrous secret –that never reached his rather expressive eyes. There was a feeling of familiarity and distance at the same time, an inexplicable pull, an unwanted urge to trust the strange man…

" _ **You are unhappy, Severus –"**_

Severus frowned. Who really was this Christian Spane?

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

-END OF CHAPTER 1-

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**


	2. Changes and Choices

**Chapter 2: Changes and Choices**

"A person's Patronus, more often than not, represents an individual's idea of a protector. Unlike one's Animagus form, which mostly symbolizes one's inner self."

It was third period. Classes have begun a month ago and Professor Christian Spane was in the middle of lecturing his 7th year NEWT students. A redhead girl raised her hand. Christian's mercurial eyes shifted onto her.

"Miss Blueridge?"

The Gryffindor blushed upon being addressed by her rather handsome professor. In a short span of time, the young DADA master had already built a reputation amongst the students –both male and female: mysterious, good-looking and sharp.

"Sir, I wonder if Patronuses could change." Ella Blueridge asked after having recovered. "I know from Professor Granger's class that one's Animagus form can switch at will in the direst of circumstances – I wonder if the same thing can happen to Patronuses?"

The Defense Master smiled.

"A change in Animagus form usually denotes a change in one's perception on oneself as you may already know. As we grow older, it is very plausible to encounter such developments. Life experiences mold our character, unforeseen events define our outlook." He began pacing the room. "You must know, Miss Blueridge that it takes an enormous amount of trust and loyalty to have somebody -or that person's animal representation, to be exact –appear as your Patronus. Often times, one's Patronus symbolizes a family member, a friend, a mentor and more commonly –a lover or mate." The man's eyes took on a wistful look. "It would carry on even beyond death, that kind of loyalty."

"So, is it not possible then, sir?" Ella asked. Professor Spane fixed his eyes on her and sighed.

"If a devotion as deep could be shifted, then –EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A silver light, almost the color of his eyes, shot right out of the Christian's wand and encompassed the whole room before receding gradually and taking form. Everyone was held in rapt attention, waiting to see what form their Professor's defender would take. The Defense Master's voice came on as the silver light converged. "I will show you my current form –"

The bright light expanded and what seemed like massive wings began to appear. Magnificent bluish plumage sprouted next, as did handsome tail feathers. The class could only watch, their mouths agape."

"It's –it's an Ice Phoenix!" Someone shouted. Professor Spane turned to the direction of the voice.

"Five points to Ravenclaw, Mr. Stebbins. Could you tell me what led you to that conclusion?"

Joe Stebbins was in his element at once. "The plumage of an Ice Phoenix is crystal-like, sir, unlike that of a regular Fire Phoenix." The boy then reddened. "And I did remember you saying that you had a mild phobia of fire, Professor. It would be highly unlikely that your defender should take for as a fire-animal."

"Five more points to Ravenclaw," Christian smiled. "For knowing and paying attention."

"You said that it is your current form, sir," Ella clarified. "So you mean yours changed? What was you old form, Professor? Could you still make it appear?" The man turned to her once more.

"A Patronus feeds on happiness –that is why you are advised to call forth your happiest memory when you cast the spell." The Ice Phoenix encircled the room once more before dissolving. "As I have previously mentioned, a change in one's Patronus denotes a shift of a once-deeply rooted devotion. Can anyone tell me how that could be possible?"

"Betrayal, sir?" Joe volunteered. Professor Spane smirked. "Are you asking or answering me, Mr. Stebbins?"

"A- answering Professor." Christian eventually nodded.

"Betrayal, treachery, abandonment –certainly not happy thoughts." The DADA Master raised his wand hand once more. "This is an experimental incantation, so I would not teach you how –but even so, I doubt you could reproduce it –it takes an intense amount of emotions to call forth –that I doubt any of you would have a reserve of –"

The Professor closed his eyes and waved once before ending in a sharp stabbing motion –much like calling forth a Patronus. This time however, he did so wordlessly, and instead of a silver light emerging from the tip of his wand, a gleaming red ray appeared. He opened his eyes and everyone saw the warm silver morph into a steely fray. The red light began to take shape..

"Ladies and gentlemen," came Professor Spane's ringing voice. "The reverse Patronus –feeds on hate and despair, and if done right, creates a new breed of dementors."

Everyone gasped, but it wasn't so much about what the Defense Master had said –or the said man's possible ability to create Dementors. The red light from Christian Spane's wand had already settled into a form: that of a menacing, Towering Basilisk.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

**"** _**Sending messages with your Patronus is quite easy, Potter. I refuse to see reason as to why you fail to grasp such a fundamental concept – EXPECTO PATRONUM!"** _

_**A silvery doe erupted from the ebony wand and glided across the room towards him:** _ _**You are an imbecile** _ _**. It said.** _

**"** _**Well maybe if you stop belittling me, every chance you've got sir, then I could concentrate –EXPECTO PATRONUM!"** _

_**The silver stag came bounding out of the holly wand –but before it could reach its destination, it dissolved.** _

**"** _**Pathetic! Just like your father –"** _

**"** _**SHUT UP! I am NOT him! Do you hear me? I'm tired of this – I am not your childhood nemesis! I did not make fun of you! I –"** _

**" Why you –impertinent –** _**ungrateful brat! Have you no respect? I will not tolerate your insolence! Why I –"** _

**"** _**Why can't you just drop it? I am NOT James Potter! I do not strut! I do not pick on people just for the fun of it! And unlike him sir, I do CARE! I care about your feelings –EXPECTO PATRONUM!"** _

_**Then, it happened.** _

_**The stag erupted yet again from the agitated 16-year old's wand. This time though, before it reached the man on the other end of the room, it did not dissipate.** _

_**It changed… to a massive snake.** _

_**I care about you.** _ _**It said.** _

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

Severus Snape –Malfoy crumpled the lone piece of paper that came from that morning's Owl Post.

_**Severus,** _

_**Nott and the others insisted that we stay in Beijing for the Xiang Mei Auction happening in two days. I'll be gone longer than I anticipated. I'll see you when I get back.** _

_**Yours,** _

_**Draco** _

The Potions Master threw the piece of paper at the dying embers on the fireplace. He stood up from his seat and made his way towards his personal lab.

He wasn't the clingy type –no, quite the contrary. But sometimes, he could not help but question his marriage to his current husband.  _'Had I actually left my former life for this?'_ Surely, they were way past the honeymoon stage, but Draco had seemingly drifted away from him in a heartbeat. Two months ago to be exact.

Severus sighed. Honestly, he was wary of the sudden change in the younger man. He knew those symptoms too well… Was Draco cheating on him? Giving him a taste of his own medicine?

' _Now you know how Harry felt back then,'_  a voice at the back of his mind piped up – a voice that until recently had been almost non-existent –his conscience.

Severus frowned.  _'Where were you when I needed the voice of reason? When I had committed the biggest bloody mistake of my so-called –'_

The Potions Master stopped his train of thought. It was useless now. Nothing he could say or do can bring back the past. There was no other way but to move forward. The onyx-eyed man turned his attention to his work space. Two bubbling cauldrons were set up, each filled with a different potion. The one on the left contained an industrial-grade cleaning solution –for his disastrous student's attempts; Theone on the right, a Ministry-approved version of Veritaserum –for those who refuse to talk plainly. He was begin bottling them when a soft knock was heard. Severus frowned. There were a few people who would even think of knocking at his door. Minerva would floo-call him. Draco would not have bothered with knocking and instead come barging right in. Others would not even dare disturb him…

 _'Only_ _Harry would,'_  his subconscious put in.

' _Harry is dead,'_  he found his own mental voice countering bitterly.  _'That only leaves one person…'_ Severus crossed the length of his tiled, well-lit work space to get the door. A swift twist-pull of the brass doorknob revealed his unexpectedly unexpected visitor.

"Christian, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

**"** _**Do not ask me to choose, Harry. You may not like what I say."** _

**"** _**But, Severus, love –I –"** _

**"** _**I'm sorry, Harry, but I'm tired of playing this stupid game –with you, with your friends, with your whole bloody world! I just want a quiet life –and I can't get that if I'm with you –"** _

" _ **And Draco Malfoy gives you that?"**_

" _ **Harry –"**_

" _ **I'm not as naïve as you think I am, Severus! Do you really think that for one second I believe you are out working hard when you are gone at night? You're making me laugh! You say you're tired –well, I'm tired of pretending! I'm asking you to choose –not between your work and me, but –"**_

" _ **Harry, I –"**_

" _ **This ends today, Severus! It's either Draco or me –I've had it with sharing my husband with that prick!"**_

**"** _**Draco lets me be me, Look, I love you Harry, but –"** _

" _ **You love him more? Hah, I knew it! You don't love me –you never did! Stop telling me that you do. You're a great liar, Severus Snape –after all you were the ultimate spy, weren't you? And I'm just poor, stupid Harry who fell for your ruse! You were just using me all along to get out of your problems!"**_

**"** _**Harry, that's –"** _

**"** _**You just USED me! Admit it! It was Draco all along, wasn't it? Now that you don't have any use for me, now that you're both free –"** _

" _ **You don't know what you are talking about, Potter! This has nothing to do with –"**_

**'** _**SLAP!'** _

**"** _**Damn it! I trusted you, Severus! But I loved you but –you've made your choice it seems. The first time you've ever slept with Malfoy, you've made your choice. I just hope you won't regret your decision."** _

" _ **Harry, just –"**_

" _ **Save it, it's over. I'm sorry, Severus. I'm sorry that you don't love me enough."**_

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

"I'm here for a proposal, Severus," Christian said brightly.

"A proposal?" Severus raised an eyebrow. Christian chuckled lightly, gently pushing the half-opened door.

Aren't you even going to let me in? I missed our afternoon teas you know,"

"I did not," Severus said stiffly. "Now what is it that you want? Unlike you, I haven't got all day to spend socializing. The Potions Master opened the door to his quarters all the way and gestured for his younger colleague to enter. The DADA Professor smiled as he gave the Potions Master a mock bow before entering the room and settling on the nearest armchair.

"Of course you did, I can tell." Christian retorted teasing teasingly. "If you agree to my idea then maybe we could spend more tea time together. I want to develop a curriculum for my 6th and 7th years so they could study the correlation between Potions and Defense. Do you not agree that that avenue is rarely explored? Most people think that Defense is limited to spells and charms."

Severus had an incredulous look on his face. "You want to collaborate, Professor Spane?" He clarified. Christian let out an easy laugh. "Surprised?" The Potions Master scoffed.

"Skeptical. No one collaborates with me. What do I get out of it, Spane? And please don't speak about having afternoon tea with you. I can drink tea on my own pretty well, thank you very much."

"Ah, Slytherin through and through –won't do something for nothing eh?" The younger man's silvery eyes sparkled as he stood up from his seat and walked towards the onyx-eyed man, who was still standing by the doorway until then. Christian stopped about a foot away from Severus, not once taking his gaze off of him. "Understandable."

Severus felt uncharacteristically uneasy. There weren't many things that unnerved the dour man, but it seemed that Christian Spane's molten chrome gaze was quickly becoming one of them, Those mercurial eyes now on him held unspeakable emotions: passion, intensity –it was like Mona Lisa's smile: intriguing, mesmerizing… like it held the secret to the world, to mankind, to salvation… The Potions Master could hardly begin to explain the sensation, but it came closest to the feeling of being legilimized, he reckoned. He averted his eyes pointedly. "Just spit it out, Spane."

Christian's face morphed into a look of triumph.

"Why do I know that you will agree anyway, Severus?"

"Don't count your chickens until they've hatched –an old muggle saying goes." Severus said irritably. Christian merely smirked. He moved even closer. The two men's faces were leveled and barely inches away from each other. Severus felt his body shivering involuntarily at the almost –contact, but his person refused to back away; for some reason, he felt the need to d this, to stay close to this man. On the other hand, he could not just allow this newcomer to intimidate him –not in his own turf. He stared into those silvery pools in planned defiance, but instead, he felt hypnotized.

"I can give you whatever you want, Severus. Anything you could ever want."

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

" _ **I know you're sleeping with my husband."**_

" _ **Oh –is that so?"**_

" _ **Please, just stay away from him, I'll do whatever you want. Just stay away from Severus and I."**_

" _ **Pathetic –exactly what I expect from you, Potter. Here's an even better idea: why don't you ask Severus to stay away from me?"**_

" _ **He –but –he doesn't, he won't –"**_

" _ **Poor Saint Potter. What, are you scared that your beloved husband won't choose you over me? Tsk, tsk. I always knew you were overrated. You were just all made up of a fancy scar and a sheer dumb luck. How truly sorry I am for you –can't even keep you man happy –"**_

" _ **SHUT UP! Leave him alone –"**_

" _ **Or else what? You're making me laugh. How dare you threaten me? Spy for the light or not, I am not once a Death Eater for nothing."**_

" _ **I should have left you rotting in Azkaban!"**_

_**You know what, you're right. But the biggest mistake you've ever done was getting in my way. Severus is mine. And I will stop at nothing until I am sure of that! You know what you can do for me, Pot-head? Plain and simple –DIE."** _

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Severus felt the heat radiating from the younger man; it made him inexplicably heady in the cold dungeon air. He reluctantly took a step backwards.

"You have nothing that I should want." He said stiffly. Christian raised an impeccable eyebrow.

"Really? I highly doubt that. Severus." He closed their already non-existent gap. "I can think of more than a dozen things at the top of my head."

"No," Severus said, evidently uncomfortable with the DADA Master's close proximity –why he was starting to sweat? "Absolutely nothing." The Potions Master took another step away from the blonde –and found his back up against the door to his laboratory. Christian smirked.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Severus?"

"No," came the rather unsure reply. Severus felt his heart skipping. Why was this happening? He tried to divert his thoughts away from the handsome young man in front of him, looking like he was ready to pounce on the Potions master –to no avail. Christian Spane ruthlessly stirred something deep within him that he could not even begin to fathom. No one made Severus Snape speechless and flustered. "No." He tried to assure himself. Christian's expression darkened momentarily before switching back to his signature smile. He leaned towards Severus.

"I thought so too," and kissed the onyx-eyed man full on the lips. Severus did not register what had happened right away. It took him about a full five seconds to realize what had taken place. The first thing that came to his mind was surprise; then, how wonderful Christian's lips felt and tasted against his, Shock and guilt came last, a little too late. He had already returned the unexpectedly heated kiss before his brain had registered what he was doing. With weak hands, he pushed the younger man away.

"Professor Spane! I –What are you –I am a married man!" He protested loudly. Did Christian not know? Surely, it was public knowledge. He wouldn't deny how good it felt, but he swore not to go down that path again. He had hurt Harry once; he'd never do that to another –not even Draco. Severus looked at the blonde, expecting an outburst or at least hesitance. But to his utter surprise and bewilderment, Christian just smiled and shrugged –before pulling Severus again for another heated kiss.

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-END OF CHAPTER 2-

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	3. Ghosts

**Chapter 3: Ghosts**

" _ **We found traces of DNA matching that of Mr. Potter's onsite. The whole Manor was razed to the ground, but magical DNA was still obtained. I'm sorry Mr. Snape, but your ex-husband perished in the fire –"**_

" _ **NO! No –not Harry –please, there must be some other way that he survived!"**_

" _ **I'm sorry, sir, but we found evidence that this was an act of arson –"**_

" _ **You mean –"**_

" _ **Well –we also found a time-delayed letter at Gringotts containing his magical signature –only to be released at the event of his death –the contents were quite disturbing –"**_

" _ **What –just what are you trying to say, Auror Finnegan? What is this about Harry's letter? You are absolutely making no sense to me!"**_

" _ **Well –"**_

" _ **WELL –SPEAK UP!"**_

" _ **Well sir, the letter… the letter was a suicide note."**_

_**Silence.** _

" _ **Sir, your ex-husband, Mr. Harry James Potter, set the Potter Manor on fire. He had committed suicide."**_

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"Severus, I'm back!" Draco Malfoy brushed off the soot marring his pristine velvet robes as he stepped out of the Floo in his husband's private quarters at Hogwarts. It was the second week of October and the dungeons were especially cold. The blonde young lord briefly surveyed the area, which appeared to be empty at that moment, with a sigh. He checked the clock on the mantelpiece. It seemed that dinner was just about wrapping up.

True enough, the door to Severus' quarters opened at that exact instance, permitting the tall, ebony-haired man entrance. Draco smiled upon seeing his husband –but that smile was short-lived when he saw that the man's attention was not on him, but on the handsome, blonde, silver-eyed young man behind him. The two were rather oblivious to Draco's presence and were currently laughing about something.

His husband was laughing? Severus Snape never laughed, at least not in his presence, Draco thought.

"…Minerva's face! You were sheer genius, Severus! I don't know how you do it!"

"Ah, but you flatter me, Christian. You on the other hand, were far more believable. You could have fooled me had you not decided to warn me beforehand of your intentions to cause mayhem amongst the rest of the staff. Quite Slytherin of you, if I may," came the deep baritone of his husband.

"Ah, that's quite the compliment coming from you, Professor Snape –"

"Brat –don't get used to it!"

The young man Severus had called 'Christian' and 'brat' subsequently, smiled demurely. Draco had had enough. He cleared his throat loudly. "Ahem."

Severus was first to hear him. The Potions Master turned around, and upon seeing his husband, his smile faded into a look of neutrality. The young man who was with him however, smiled even wider upon seeing Draco.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

_**Heavy panting. Sweat-soaked bodies collapsing. Raw silk sheets rustling. Soft glowing candles cutting right through the gripping darkness. Glossed eyes. A satiated smile. A half-hearted sigh.** _

" _ **Christian, I –this should have never happened. I'm sorry –I don't know what came over me, but my husband Draco –he –"**_

_**A reassuring hand. A knowing smile.** _

" _ **Of course, Severus. No one would know a thing. My lips are sealed."**_

" _ **This –this wouldn't happen again. It shouldn't –I mean, we could –we could remain just friends –forget everything –"**_

_**Removing covers. Sliding off the bed. Picking up discarded clothin. Unfurling of robes. Fastening buttons. Zipping up pants. Smirking. Turning to leave.** _

" _ **Somehow, I highly doubt that." A light chuckle, then a saucy wink. "But like they say, whatever you want, Severus/ Whatever you want."**_

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

"I am back, dear husband," Draco said forcefully as he stomped all the way towards Severus, and upon approaching the man captured his lips in a fierce kiss. It lasted for a few seconds until Severus pushed Draco away lightly, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Draco, what are you doing? Can you not see that we have company?"

Draco raised a questioning eyebrow but did not relent. Instead, he wrapped a possessive arm around his husband, all the while eying the other blonde in the room pointedly. The mysterious man was still smiling, unfazed by the open hostility Draco was radiating. Severus however, took notice and decide to step in.

"Draco, this is Professor Christian Spane, Defense Master. Christian, my husband, Lord Draco Malfoy." Went the introductions. Christian, for his part, nodded politely, extending his left hand to Draco. "It's nice to finally meet you, Lord Malfoy. Severus has told me so much about you."

The young Lord eyed the proffered hand, warily. "Left denotes treachery and insincerity. Every learned man knows that. Just which rock did you come under from?" He asked haughtily. "And they allow you to teach here?"

"Draco! That's enough!" Severus' voice took on a dangerous tone as he pointedly glared at his husband. "That is highly uncalled for –" Christian however waved him off. The DADA Master's hand fell to his side as he smiled at Draco.

"Pardon me, Lord Malfoy. I keep forgetting my manners. It is quite alright, Severus. I am at fault." He turned to the onyx-eyed man. "Your husband evidently hates me. I was just trying to bait him." Christian faced a deeply-annoyed looking Draco once more. "I am clueless as to why you dislike me, my Lord, but my qualifications are of no concern to you. Last time I checked, you are neither a student, a parent nor a governor of this school." A smirk found its way to Christian's lips. "Left does denote sinister, that I am much aware of –as it does infidelity. May I just point out that it is your left hand that you now have wrapped around your husband? I wonder why he allows you –"

"I will not be spoken to like that!" Draco exclaimed, looking murderous. "Who do you think you are? Do you know who you're talking to?" He looked like he was itching to grab his wand and curse the Defense Professor, but a firm grasp of Severus' hand on his shoulder stopped him. Christian just looked on, amused."

"And here I thought that we blondes are the most pleasant lot." He shook his head almost comically. "And if you don't know who you are, better check yourself in to St. Mungo's. You have the temperament of a redhead, Mr. Malfoy. I'd be careful if I were you –"

"Are you threatening me, Spane?"

Christian looked scandalized. "Me? Threaten you? You must be confused, Lord Malfoy." The DADA Professor's silvery eyes darkened. "Clearly, you don't know me. I don't do threats."

Both Draco and Severus sensed the underlying meaning to Christian's words. Draco frowned, but kept quiet otherwise. Severus on the other hand sighed deeply. "I apologize for the misunderstanding, Christian. My husband must be tired –"

"Severus –" Draco began to protest, but the Potions Master cut him off with a glare. Christian was smiling again. He nodded at his colleague.

"Of course. I'm sorry that we must cut our discussion short. But I know when I am not wanted –sometimes a little to well." He winked. "See you some other time, Sev.

"GET OUT!" Draco found an opening. "You're not welcome here!"

"Draco! Stop being rude!" Severus snapped at his husband. "Christian is a colleague and a collaborator –"

"So that's what you call it now?" The young Malfoy spat out heatedly. Severus frowned and was about to tell his husband off again when Christian raised both of his arms in a gesture of mock-surrender. "Whoa –hey, Malfoy. I don't know what you're trying to point out here, but your husband and I are merely friends." Draco scoffed.

"Of course you are. I wasn't born yesterday, Spane. I can see right through your act, you know. I know your style." But instead of defending himself, however, Christian made a show of curtseying in front of his accuser, a patronizing smile gracing his lips. He then wordlessly turned around and headed for the exit.

"Of course, you would, Malfoy," Christian whispered to the portrait guardian of Severus' quarters –Morgan Le Fay. "Of course you do."

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

" _ **It's all my fault, Draco! I did this to him! I drove him to do this!"**_

" _ **Of course, not! Are you blaming this on us, Severus? Are you having second thoughts about us now?"**_

" _ **What –no! It –it is just that this –this was not supposed to happen! We spoke –he told me to leave. He was the one who told me to leave after I had explained myself. I thought –I thought he had understood. He seemed okay –but of course he was not! How could I have even missed it? But he even wished me luck –before he had signed the papers. I do not –I do not understand why he would do this!"**_

" _ **Don't blame yourself love. We both know Potter had always been unstable –"**_

" _ **But he was not suicidal! It is not like him! I –I knew him best! I –I do not know –"**_

" _ **Hush, Severus, he's gone now. Beating yourself up over it will not undo anything. I know why he did this. He did this to hurt you –us. He did not want you to be happy without him. Please, just forget him. He's now but an ugly nightmare. You have me, like you always have. I'm here for you. Please, just forget Potter. He's dead.**_

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

"You are impossible, Draco!" Severus exclaimed right after Christian had left the room." "Christian Spane is an esteemed Defense and Potions master in the US –and you just had to be petty and obnoxiously rude!"

"I hate him, okay?" Draco yelled back. "I don't care who in Circe's nine circles of Hell he is! I hate him! I don't like his face –I don't trust him!"

"You accuse him, you accuse me." Severus muttered darkly. "What has he done to you?"

"Don't try to put words in my mouth," scowled Draco. "And don't forget –your record isn't exactly squeaky clean.

"Well neither is yours," retorted Severus.

"I don't trust him, period."

"For crying out loud –you've just met the man, and in not ten seconds, you begin baiting him! Don't deny it, you started it. Are you even listening to yourself right now? I just cannot believe how petty you are getting over an innocent friendship between Christian and I, when you are almost always halfway around the globe, consorting with Merlin knows who!"

"Don't try to turn this against me, Severus! You may claim innocence, but I saw firsthand how that hooligan was looking at you! You may be blameless, but that prick most certainly is not!"

"And pray tell, with your immaculate powers of observation, how was he looking at me?"

Draco hesitated at first, but upon seeing the challenging look in his husband's eyes, he knew that he just had to say it. "Like Potter. He was looking at you like Harry Bloody Potter would," the blonde snarled. "Like a lost little puppy who was suddenly adopted –"

Severus glared at him. "I left Harry for you. I bloody left him to be with you. What more can you ask of me?" Draco met his husband's steely ebony gaze with his own determined silver orbs. "Forget him."

"Harry Potter is dead," Severus sighed resignedly, dark shadows lingering in his aged eyes. "He was reduced to ashes and will never come back."

"And yet, you cannot seem to let go of his ghost," Draco frowned. "I'm not naïve like your former boy toy, Severus. I know you regret choosing me." Severus pinched the bridge of his nose with a huff.

"We will not talk about this –not now, not again, not ever." The dark-eyed man began to head for his rooms. Draco looked on, trying hard not to appear stricken. "So, I was right then. You do regret it," he shouted after his retreating husband's back. The words halted Severus in his steps. For a while, it seemed like he was about to turn to face the younger man once more, but after a few seconds, he merely sighed.

"Beating up myself over it will not undo anything," Without further ado, he continued on to his rooms.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

In a darkened room, not far away from the dungeons, a bottle of scotch is being downed –pale, ghost-like fingers were wrapped around the long neck of the plain container in a vice-like grip.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…" A melancholic voice laughed bitterly. "Who said that ashes couldn't become your worst nightmare?" Another swig of amber liquid. "Who says only ghosts can haunt you?" A dark chuckle. "My biggest mistake was getting in your way… yours is letting me die."

A sound of breaking glass ensued.

"I don't do threats, I just give it all I've git." A misplaced smirk. "It's funny you don't like me, when I'm looking almost like your shadow. You give the age-old adage 'it takes one to know one' a fresh new twist."

A sound of a cushion easing, then footsteps, back and forth.

"I've waited long enough –no –I've waited for far too long. I'd make you wish that you'd never met me, I'd make you wish that you'd just left me alone. I'd make you wish that it was you who died instead of me… I'd make you regret everything you did to me and mine –both of you."

Silent tears fell, quickly turning into guttural, wracking sobs.

"You –You will pay –I will make you pay! It will all be worth it –"

The rest of his words were drowned in saline.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

Draco Malfoy slept soundly, albeit alone, that night. It will be one of the last of its kind; for not even the enchantments of Malfoy Manor could spare him from the horrors in store for him –horrors that he had set himself up for.

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-END OF CHAPTER 3-

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	4. It Begins

**Chapter 4: It Begins**

"You husband has quite the temper," Christian told Severus by means of a greeting as the Potions Master took his seat at the Staff Table next to the Defense Professor at breakfast the following morning. "Do I need to make myself scarce?"

"Draco returned home to Malfoy Manor –he hates staying here." Severus sighed as he reached for a cup of Earl Grey. "I apologize once more for his appalling behavior."

The younger man smiled as he buttered a piece of toast.

"Don't worry much, I get that –he's just protective of you, after all. I do not blame him in the least."

"No?" Severus raised an eyebrow as he set up his cup back down on the table. He turned to face Christian who was now liberally adding blackcurrant jam to his buttered toast. The man's silver eyes were dancing in an inexplicable emotion –was that… longing?"

"Certainly. If I was married to you, I'd do everything in my powers to keep you," the blonde stated plainly, biting once into his food. The Potions Master's eyes widened at the young man's careless pronouncement, but he did not say anything regarding it. Instead, he averted his gaze and focused on his now-filled breakfast plate. He had resolved to eat in peace for the rest of the meal. However, it seemed that Christian had other things in mind.

"You know, having been acquainted with you for such a short time Severus, I never did picture you falling for a blonde," the Defense Master was saying quietly, all the while toying with his fork between his right thumb and forefinger. Severus looked up from his plate with a slight frown.

"I beg your pardon?"

Christian did not meet his gaze but instead continued to play with the cutlery in his hand. "Oh, I don't know. It's just a dark beauty such as you –it's hard to imagine. Although Mr. Malfoy is a good foil, you would probably have done better with a brunette –a redhead even." The young man's eyes were now laced with subtle amusement. "Don't take offense though. I just think that your husband is too refined too –shall we say –predictable?" He then shrugged. "But love's love, I guess. It is very evident how deeply in love you are with him. And I can plainly see how Mr. Malfoy appreciates your beauty." At this point, Christian's eyes already met Severus', the latter's laced with utter disbelief and quiet surprise.

"Beautiful? Surely you are jesting," the onyx-eyed man growled under his breath, trying to hide his blatant discomfort at the praise received. "I am no such thing." He glared at his younger colleague who, to his surprise, chuckled.

"It comes in many forms, of course. And I am telling you, as much of you as I have witnessed…" Christian's voice trailed off, obviously insinuating about their one-time private encounter. "Not 'pretty' beautiful, Sev," Christian held the older man's attention as his voice lowered to almost a whisper. "But dangerously –intoxicatingly –beautiful." The mercurial eyes darkened considerably. "The kind one would die for –kill for, even."

Severus found his breath hitching by the time Christian was done speaking, any thoughts of rebuttal quickly departing his mind. How could he even think of disagreeing, with those intense silver eyes devouring him and his resolve? He swallowed inaudibly as he tried to regain his composure.

"Christian," The name had sounded much like a whispered prayer. He had meant for it to be a warning, but the way it came out of his lips certainly lacked the venom it sorely needed. Christian however, seemed to have gotten the point anyway. He relaxed his gaze and smiled.

"Of course, your secret is safe with me, Severus. I give you my word." A gentle but determined hand found its way towards the Potions Master's lap. "However, I cannot continue to promise my eternal silence without anything in return." Severus stiffened, his eyes wide in shock.

"What do you mean –you –"

The gentle touch on the lap turned to a playful squeeze. Christian smirked. "I'm a Slytherin too, remember? I, in my good conscience, cannot allow myself to do something without anything in return. And like I've said, Severus, you are intoxicating." The hand on the lap tightened its grip. "I'm far too gone, far too deep into you to stop now. Once, is most certainly not enough." The blonde took a small sip of his tea before licking his lips. "Please don't think of it as blackmail though –think of it as a friend helping another." And with that final wink, and a fond tap on the shoulder, Christian departed the breakfast table, leaving a flabbergasted Severus in his wake.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

It was the last day of term before Winter Holidays. Severus opened the small, green velvet-covered box Draco had gotten him for their first year anniversary. The onyx-eyed man scoffed at the contents.

"Jewelry. He knows I never wear any" He closed the lid and stowed the box away. Draco was gone for an important business meeting in Jakarta and was not due to be back until Christmas Eve. Severus sighed. He knew he should be upset, but lately, he could not even bring himself to care anymore. Everything was falling apart in his second marriage as it did in his first. Maybe he was just meant to be alone in life.

' _I wonder what Christian's plans are for the holidays?'_  Severus found himself thinking of the young man more often theses days. Once became twice, until he could not stand a week without seeing the blonde DADA Professor in private. As intoxicating as Christian claimed him to be, Severus found himself almost addicted to those silver eyes that were so unlike Draco's. Never before had he felt so drawn to someone with such intensity, such raw passion that it almost pained him to be away. What was happening to him? Was he really losing his head over a practical stranger?

Severus wasn't much of a talker in bed, but the few times they had spoken, Christian avoided talking about himself. He would answer the ebony-haired man's questions, but only. And since he wasn't the type to pry, Severus had learned almost next to nothing about his enigmatic colleague. Oddly enough though, it did not bother him much –for it seemed that the lack of knowledge of Christian Spane's background did not deter the almost instant familiarity he felt for the young man. He had just met him, but it never felt like getting to know Christian… it always felt like he was trying to remember the young man from something, somewhere in his past. He never told his colleague however, but it was funny that he should feel this comfortable with a new acquaintance, when he cannot even feel as at ease as with his husband.

' _With Draco,'_  he amended. It was only recently that he had realized how relatively relaxed and easy things were before with Harry as compared with Draco –surely, there was the press, the crowds –but before Severus had let those things get to him, when it was just the two of them, it was an effortless calm,

"A sickle for you thought?" An amused-sounding voice cut through Severus' reveries. He looked up from his desk. "Christian."

The blonde smiled and approached the Potions Master. "I just came by to drop off your Christmas present before I head back to Ohio." He placed a small box, the size of a Rubik's cube on top of Severus' desk. The older man looked at the package with interest before raising an eyebrow. "You did not need to. And you'll be abroad for the holidays?" Christian grinned.

"I know we had agreed on not exchanging presents for such a superficial holiday, but when I saw this, I couldn't help but think of you," he gestured towards the plain-looking cardboard box. "Anyway, I had forgone the red bow and the glittery wrapper –you have to at least give me credit for that." He quipped. Severus then reached for the box and began to open it.

"Thank you, I suppose –" The rest of his words however turned to a gasp upon seeing what was inside. "Basilisk venom? But how –where –do you know how priceless this is?" Severus took out the small vial for inspection. "There are rumors of s basilisk corpse buried beneath the school but –" he shook his head in disbelief. Christian chuckled at the man's incredulous look.

"Happy Christmas, Severus. I assure you, I did no digging for buried corpses for that."

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_**What was once an opulent manor crumbled like a brittle rock from afar –a man stood atop a small hill, not too many miles away, clutching his bleeding arm. He was almost deathly-pale from having lost a copious amount of blood –blood that he had willingly shed so that he may continue to exist. His left arm continued to drip with the thick, life-giving crimson liquid. The more he lost of it, however, the more his brilliant emerald eyes seem to fire up/** _

" _ **A cursed life –anything is worth revenge for what they did to me."**_

_**Hours later, the bleeding had finally stopped. The burning estate was then no more than rubble and smoke. The man turned his back and left, but with a promise to come back and avenge his ill-fate.** _

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

It was Christmas Even and Severus sat alone in one of the many parlors of Malfoy Manor. Draco came home alright, but it was as good as he was gone; the young Lord had been too busy entertaining his many guests since that morning to even notice his husband. If there was anything he hated more than Gryffindors and incompetent fools and Christmas, it was social gatherings. Was he really supposed to pretend to know and like those people, most of which he knew, hated him anyway?

He'd really much prefer the company of a glass of scotch, like now. Severus sighed. He could simply not wait until the holidays were over. He set his glass down an elegant mahogany side table. He had just decided to retire for the night by his lonesome when a strange box materialized with a 'pop' right before his very eyes.

"What in the world -?"

The box was about the size of a quaffle, wrapped in garish green and gold paper and tied with a big red bow. Severus watched the box hover momentarily before landing on the side table gently. Ever the cynic, he immediately drew his wand to scan the parcel for hexes and jinxes. When you were hated by the general populace, you can never be too sure –the scan came out clean. Not even a stasis charm was in place.

Who else would send him a gift though? Draco had already given him more useless jewelry. Minerva had earlier sent him the customary scarf and book. Christian had given him that precious vial of basilisk venom days ago… Severus eyed the tacky-looking box rather warily. A tag was taped on the top face of the package:

**FORGET ME NOT.**

The Potions Master raised an eyebrow at the cryptic message. It was printed in block letters, so there was no way of telling who wrote it by plain sight. Nevertheless, curiosity got the better of him, With long, potions-stained fingers, he carefully unwrapped the mysterious gift. Inside were four different vials nestled among confetti, and Severus immediately thought –would Christian have sent this? He took one small vial out for inspection.

Freshwater pearls. He set that down and reached for the next.

Powdered doxy eggshell? It was getting more curious by the minute. He took the next vial out.

Dried leaves from an emerald lily? How in the world did the sender get his hands on one of those? He had been searching for one in the whole span of his career, and here it was, handed to him on a silver platter –vial –he finally had the final ingredient for his Werewolf cure, not to mention, the new fertility potion he had been experimenting on. He replaced the vial on the table with utmost care. He then unearthed the final vial –which appeared to be filled with blood.

The vial was sealed tightly. Severus frowned. He had detected no stasis spells. Did that mean that this sample was fresh? Blood in general spoils after 48 hours in the absence of a preservation charm –magical blood can stay unsullied for up to 72, depending on the concentration of magic in it. What type of blood could it be? With nimble fingers, he broke the seal and took a sample drop. He rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger before tentatively taking a sniff…

He almost dropped the vial.

Human blood? Somebody sent them their blood? What kind of a sick joke was that? He glanced back at all the other three vials, trying to make sense of this rather disturbing gift… Severus' eyes widened as realization dawned upon him.

All four vials contained key ingredients for … A Male Pregnancy Potion.

The Potions Master hastily returned the vials in the box, the process of which, disturbed the confetti inside. A small piece of rolled-up parchment emerged. It was another printed note.

**IT BEGINS WITH ME, IT ENDS WITH YOU.**

Severus dropped the parchment. He eyed the vials, then the cryptic note. Suddenly, everything became clear. The question was who –who would do this? Nobody knew of his secret burning desire to have his own children. Rage began to boil deep inside him. How dare they mock him? He angrily grabbed the vial of blood and flooed all the way to his lab at Hogwarts. He tipped a fourth of the contents of the small glass container onto a tiny idle gold cauldron and lit a low fire underneath. To the blood, he added three drops of rose water, a teaspoon of phoenix tears and a teaspoon of lethe river water. He stirred clockwise thrice, then counterclockwise once, before reciting a long string of Latin words.

Time to reveal the bastard's identity.

He took a drop of the concoction inside the gold cauldron and let it fall on a blank piece of parchment. Whose blood was it? Immediately, the blot snaked and formed into cursive letters: the name of the person from which the fresh sample was taken. Severus held the parchment at eye-level and almost choked a gasp.

"No –no –it can't be!"

On the parchment was the last thing he had ever expected to see. He clutched his chest in desperate realization.

**HARRY JAMES POTTER**

"Merlin!" The otherwise calm and collected man felt the world suddenly spinning around him manically. The ground began to sway and knocked him off-balance…

Then, nothingness.

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_**A fire was cracking in the hearth.** _

" _ **What are you reading, Harry?"**_

" _ **Oh, hey Sev. How was work? Just one of your Potions Journals lying around. I didn't know you wrote an article about the Male Pregnancy Potion –"**_

" _ **Blithering idiots, the lot of them –What –give me that! Since when did you start reading anything?"**_

" _ **You wound me, love. I read everything you ever wrote in these since before we got married."**_

" _ **Really? I did not think Potions interested you one bit."**_

" _ **A common misconception, as you would say. So, 'Developments on the MPREG Potion,' huh? Your article seemed very in-depth, love. Is there something you are not telling me?"**_

" _ **I –I do not know what you are talking about. It is purely an academic pursuit –"**_

" _ **Oh –really?"**_

" _ **Really. Besides, what do you know about it anyway? You can't even distinguish minced slugs from finely chopped bat liver."**_

" _ **Okay. Sev, can I ask you something? And could you be honest with me? Would you like to have kids?"**_

_**A pregnant pause.** _

" _ **I hate children."**_

_**A knowing smile. Then, a heartfelt sigh…** _

" _ **Of course you do, Sev. Tell me when you change your mind. Goodnight."**_

" _ **I –Goodnight, Harry. And stop reading my articles."**_

" _ **Of course, love. And Sev?"**_

" _ **Yes?"**_

_**A quick peck on the cheek.** _

" _ **You'll make a great Dad someday."**_

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-END OF CHAPTER 4-

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	5. A Cursed Life

**Chapter 5: A Cursed Life**

"That's impossible, Severus! The Aurors have confirmed –there was no other way that he could have survived that fire! Not Flamaria Flagrante! Even if he flew out of the room, the fire would've been too encompassing for him to get out safely –"

"Just humor me, Minister, please."

"Severus, the magical remains were found in the parlor. After casting the fire, he couldn't have escaped –except through the Floo, which might I remind you, was found to have been blocked using Harry's own wand –why are we even discussing this now?"

Severus Snape sighed as he sat in front of the Minister's ornate desk. From the pocket of his voluminous black robes, he pulled out a vial. Gently, he sat it down on top of the polished oak.

"Have your technicians authenticate that, Shacklebolt."

Minister Shacklebolt's brows furrowed. He took the vial and brought it closer to him. His eyes then widened in realization. "Is this –"

"Fresh sample," affirmed Severus. "No stasis spell whatsoever when it arrived. The vial used to be full, but I took the liberty of testing it myself." Shacklebolt looked awed. "And the age of sample?" Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes briefly.

"Forty-eight hours at most. But I've applied a preservation charm as soon as I tested it. There is no way that I would allow that to spoil. Not if there was a chance that –" he let the rest of his sentiments die down.

"And this –this is HIS?" Shacklebolt gasped. "You did run the revealing test, didn't you? What are the chances that this sample is altered?" Severus stood up to leave.

"You tell me, you have the Unspeakables." He paused and fixed the dark-skinned man a steady gaze. "If there is nay –any possible way that he may be alive… Kingsley, I need to know."

Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt eyed his contemporary and friend with concern.

"And Draco?"

The Potions Master halted in his steps.

"It is imperative that this stays just between the two of us."

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"Good to see you this fine morning, Severus. How was your holiday?" A very perky-looking Christian Spane arrived at the Great Hall at breakfast on the first day back. The young man looked very well-rested as he took his customary seat next to the Potions Professor. Severus on the other hand was grim-faced. Christian eyed the older man in concern.

"Severus, is something the matter?"

The older man continued to ignore him, staring blankly into space.

"Severus? Hello, Earth to Severus! Can you hear me?" Christian tapped him lightly on one arm –which did its purpose.

"Wha –What?" Severus looked up, seemingly quite surprised to see his younger colleague. "Christian? When did you get here? Where did you come from? How –"

"I missed you too," the Defense Professor smiled. "I've been trying to catch your attention for the past five minutes, but your mind seemed to be off flying somewhere. What's the matter? You look like somebody died."

Severus stared into those mercurial orbs before heaving a sigh. "No… Quite –quite the contrary." Christian raised his eyebrows almost comically. "Err –somebody gave birth or something?" The Potions Master did not reply, but instead, reached into the pocket of his teaching robes and produced an official-looking parchment. He handed it to Christian who gingerly took it. The Ministerial Seal was atop the single page. Severus did not wait longer for his younger colleague to open it.

"You're the Dark Arts Expert –what do you know of the Cursed Life Sacrifice Ritual?"

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' _ **It can't end like this.'**_

_**Flames began licking the petrified man's prone form.** _

' _ **Not like this.'**_

_**Explosions began to sound from other parts of the house.** _

' _ **I will not let those bastards get away with this –both of them!'**_

_**The petrified man knew what he wanted… but how?** _

_**They say that on the brink of death, things become effortlessly clearer; everything, all of a sudden, just clicks and falls into place. Reason and Purpose become one, and everything is revealed at that one specific moment as one hovered between realms, vacillating between life and death. Muggles romanticize it and deem it as one's life flashing through your eyes. For the cynical, petrified man though, he preferred to call it a 'eureka moment'.** _

_**It was too simple.** _

_**He could not afford to die… so, he would live.** _

_**No matter what the cost.** _

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"Are you familiar with Horcruxes, Severus?" Christian asked the Potions Master later that night in the former's personal chambers. Severus nodded somberly. Albus' portrait, and subsequently, Harry had filled him in all the details on the darkest of dark magics Tom Riddled had employed to make himself immortal. "The Dark Lord used it to anchor his soul in the mortal realm."

"Very dark magic, I assure you," Christian let a small smile grace his lips. "But it pales in comparison to the obscure ritual you inquire about." Severus frowned.

"How so? Is there magic more sinister than Horcruxes?"

"I guess it depends on whom you ask," Christian took a seat from across the Potions Master, right next to the fire place. Shadows played on the young man's handsome face as he stared at the crimson embers. "The Cursed Life Sacrifice Ritual is more commonly known among Dark Arts enthusiasts as the Death Warrant Curse, or simply, Bargain with Death." The Defense Master took a deep breath before facing Severus once more. "Can you hazard a guess as to why?"

The Potions Master shook his head. "You've read the letter. It was very vague –and that is as much as I know: it is a dark ritual that required copious amounts of blood and magic. Ministry experts nowadays are not of the caliber as they were before. There is more to this ritual and that, I need to know more of."

Christian faced the fire again as he spoke –it was the most his mild phobia could tolerate. Anything bigger than burning logs would cause him to tremble slightly and sweat profusely. Severus knew of this and could not help but be curious of the young man.  **"Fear fuels desire,"** the blonde once told him. **"I used to shake and scream at the smallest spark, but then I realized that the thing I fear could be my reason for living. I began to fear it less –instead, it awed me, I feared fire and yet it gave me life. It was a silly thing to do. It still gives me the occasional nightmare, but not as much."**

Severus remembered that day well. It was one of the rare times that Christian spoke of himself without much prodding. The onyx-eyed man had watched the young blonde's eyes mist as he had lain against his bare chest in the dimmed dungeon room they occupied. For some reason, he had felt the urge to hold the man closer. He did remember settling for running his long fingers through Christian's tousled locks –and being hit with a déjà vu.

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" _ **What is it that you are afraid of, Sev?" Harry asked as he snuggled against his husband's chest. He was still relatively smaller than the older man despite his late teenage growth spurt. The onyx-eyed man wrapped an arm around the smaller form and sighed as he threaded the fingers of his other hand through the perpetually messy hair.**_

" _ **I am not certain. Once I thought I feared death. But after surviving my ordeal with Nagini, that ceased."**_

_**Harry tightened his grip around the Potions Master. "I had been told that the wisest thing to fear was fear itself." A small frown crossed his eternally youthful features. "But I think not."** _

" _ **Why is that?" Severus asked his husband curiously. These rare moments of intellectual exposition were one of those pleasant surprises that came when he had married Harry Potter. The emerald-eyed man was a wealth of unusual but poignant nuggets of wisdom,**_

" _ **Fear drives us –to move, to change, to live the best life we could possibly have. Without it, we are but empty, contented shells. Contented, yes, but empty. There is nothing to escape, nothing to get past, nothing to overcome –to triumph upon. I think –I think it would be one great catastrophe, the day man started to cease fearing something –anything at all."**_

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"Bargain with Death requires three things," Christian was saying, bringing Severus' thoughts back to the present. "Blood, Magic and Purpose."

"Purpose?" Severus clarified. "What kind of purpose?" Christian sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"First, you must know that the major difference it had from Horcruxes is that you soul is maintained –it remains intact. The very obvious similarity it has on the other hand is the fervent desire to remain living in this realm –but it ends there. Horcruxes offer conditional immortality. Bargain with Death gives no such promise. It gives you life, yes, but limited –"

"Limited?"

The young Defense Master's mercurial orbs focused once more onto its obsidian counterpart. There was a hint of inexplicable trepidation mixed with the silver chrome, together with reluctance. "Bargain with Death is not forever, Severus. Once the host's purpose is fulfilled, death awaits him. One who signs himself up for the Death Warrant Curse is a ticking time bomb. One's soul becomes damned upon completion of one's purpose on earth."

"But who would want a cursed life as such? What purpose could possibly be worth it?" Severus' voice rose. "Why –Why would someone who wanted to apparently die in the first place decide to do this ritual? I –I fail to see the logic…" his usually smooth baritone trailed off. Christian's face morphed into a look of quiet confusion.

"The person who would do this ritual would have to really want to live, Severus, not die. Any doubt in one's mind would negate the spell's effects."

The room became enshrouded in pregnant silence –only the crackling of logs in the fire could be heard for quite a while. Christian watched Severus' face turn from confused, to pale, to horrified. The ebony-haired man, all of a sudden stood up from his seat, knocking a nearby side table in his haste.

"Is –is that –I mean –are you certain? But –"

Christian frowned. "Severus? What's the matter –"

"Answer me!" Severus turned his gaze onto the blonde. There was a combination of horror and pleading mirrored in those fathomless pools. "If someone –someone who commits suicide… would the spell work? Tell me!" His eyes began to mist. Then, in almost a sob, "Please, tell me it isn't…"

Christian felt torn upon seeing the man in front of him break down. A part of him felt lost, perplexed and unsure. The other just wanted to hold Severus in his arms and never let go. He approached the teary Potions Master. "What is it about, Severus?" A comforting hand found its way onto the older man's shoulders. "What had made you so upset?"

A quiet shake of Severus' head ushered in his reply. Meeting Christian's eyes, he spoke in a half-whisper.

"Have –have I told you about Harry Potter? About how he had died?"

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**Severus,**

**There are things I've said, things I've done that I regret. But it is in those things that I have failed to do where my heart breaks the most. I never told you what it is exactly that I fear before, for the only reason that I reckon you would not understand me, An experienced, learned man like you, who has seen so much, been through so much, could not possibly comprehend the fears of a jaded yet naïve young man like me now, could you?**

**I am afraid of losing you.**

**When I was younger, I was scared of you. I resented your treatment of me, yes –but I never hated you. I was too busy fearing the repercussions of disappointing you to ever be truly afraid. Yes, you were my greatest fear. For a while, it bore down on me, it absorbed all the positive emotions I had within me like a Dementor would suck someone's soul out. For a while, it held me back, it defeated me, handicapped me, made me helpless –hopeless.**

**But when I saw you, your memories –that night in the Shrieking Shack –it was then that I had finally realized; my fear of you was what drove me, moved me, inspired me: to change, to fight, to live. My mother's love gave me the weapon I needed, but it was my fear of you, of disappointing you, of losing you, that taught me how to wield that sword that seven years of animosity had forged…**

**When I thought that you had died in my arms that day, an inexplicable feeling of loss came over me, Suddenly, every step was much heavier, every breath, more difficult to take in.**

**I never told you of the night I had defeated Voldemort. After I had killed him, I went back for you –for your body…**

**Death hovered next to your prone form, waiting for your soul.** _**'He's still in this realm,** _ **' it said. Those few words gave me hope anew. I rushed to your side, held your hand in mine… and prayed. I've never prayed before in my entire life, but at that moment, everything that I had wanted to say –that I had felt I needed to say –flowed effortlessly out of my lips. If you ask me now however, I wouldn't be able to tell you the exact words I have spoken back then. But if there was one thing I did remember, it was how my tears fell and washed away the blood and grime on your pale face. Then you opened your eyes and the first thing that came out of your lips was** _**"Detention, Mr. Potter."** _ **I nearly died laughing, but the relief felt was beyond compare. I then remember apparating you to the Hospital Wing, wards be damned, and taking Poppy hostage until I knew you were fully healed.**

**The first time I saw you with Draco, it was right before Halloween. I had wanted to surprise you for our First Anniversary the next day. The door to your lab was ajar, so I took a peep. The rest of my senses shut down, but that image burned and scarred deep into the recesses of my mind. It wasn't much of the sexual act itself –but the fire in your eyes, the tenderness of your movements, the passion you radiated. The first thing that came to me at that time wasn't rage or jealousy, but regret. How could I have failed to share that moment with you? Should it not have been me in your arms? I had agreed to teach at Hogwarts after that. I reckoned that it would be the right thing to do, spending more time with you, but that plan just back-fired on me. It just made me realize how far gone you really were from me. Your lab remained locked, but I did not actually have to see. I blamed myself… For a while, I tried to deny my short-comings; it wasn't my fault. How could it have been my fault? I loved you with all of me since that first time we kissed in my 6** **th** **year. I gave you my all… what else could you have wanted from me? Then eventually, my refusal to accept reality turned into resentment… Then fear, once more.**

**I've gone full circle.**

**I am afraid of losing you. Seeing you with another instilled in me the same gripping fear I had felt when you almost died. The only difference was this time, I was the one dying inside…**

**I will not pretend to understand why it had to happen like this, but I've long stopped asking. I've stopped since that day I stopped sleeping in our shared quarters –you've never noticed that, have you, Severus? I will always fear you, disappointing you, losing you. But then, I realized that maybe I never really had you…**

**The day I had asked you to choose, I knew what your answer would be beforehand –I have known for the past year since that first time in late October –but still, I asked. I had wanted to hear it from you –to face my greatest fear.**

**And I did. But no matter how I psyched myself up, it never braced me for the consequences of my ill-conceived bravado. Stupid Gryffindor courage. When you came by the Manor last week with the divorce papers for me to sign it almost killed me, right then and there, seeing you again –seeing everything fall apart completely.**

**I do not know which was a braver act; walking to someone's certain death, or forcing a smile through a broken heart and soul. Seeing you walking out the door was the last straw for me…**

**I had lost you that day, and I had lost my one fear, my one reason, my one purpose.**

**You will read this one day and think me foolish… I am.**

**Forgive me, Severus, but I will never stop loving you.**

**Harry**

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Christian downed the last of his wine and set his glass down. The logs in the hearth have long turned to ashes.

"My one and only regret was that I never got the chance to tell him how truly sorry I am." Severus set his own glass down. "It should not have come to him taking his own life –"

"He did not." Christian stood up from his seat, his motions stiff, his face set in stone. He began to pace the room. Severus followed him with questioning eyes.

"Christian, but the note –how –"

"Nobody suicidal cold have employed Bargain with Death." The blonde declared plainly, his silver eyes darkening even more. "Your law enforcement is utterly useless –that letter was not a suicide note –"

"But why?" Severus asked, missing the hardening of his younger colleague's tone. Christian halted in his steps. He shook his head as if to compose himself before resuming his pacing.

"Death brings man that coveted moment of clarity, of singularity," the Defense Master's voice was back to its neutral timber. "When his purpose and reason are one… Most choose to move on upon learning this. However, there are those who pull back to try again –those damned individuals almost always have unfinished business."

"Unfinished business? You mean like setting affairs, comforting –loved ones?" Severus' tone was hopeful, albeit shaky. To his surprise, Christian countered with a bitter laugh.

"You don't get it, do you?"

Severus frowned, confused. "I beg your pardon?" Christian crossed the room to stand behind Severus' seat. "What makes magic light or dark, Professor Snape?"

"Intent, but I do not see –"

"What emotion is behind the blood sacrifice Lily Potter used to protect her son Harry?"

"Love. But I fail to see where this leads to –"

Christian sighed. "What you now call as 'Lily's Charm' is the same as the Death Warrant Curse, Severus. Same premise: the caster is on the brink of death, she sacrifices her blood and magic to protect her son." Severus' eyes widened.

"But how is that possible –I never –she had died that night! I –"

"Her purpose," Christian cut him off, "was fulfilled when Voldemort had died from that rebounded Avada Kedavra."

Severus' head was spinning with the hodge-podge of information Christian was giving him –it was one muggle atomic bomb after another. He had quietly wondered how much more he could take in one night. From the nearby mahogany console table, an antique desk clock chimed the eleventh hour. Severus sought the other man's silver eyes. "Just what –are you trying to tell me?"

Christian held the Potions Master's probing gaze. "Love, makes the spell Light. The opposite emotion makes it Dark."

"Hate? The Purpose is Hate?" Severus asked incredulously. Christian cocked his head on to one side, as if sizing up his older colleague. "Enough hate serves as the anchor for Bargain with Death. But that is just the emotion. Something else fuels the Death Warrant Curse."

"Then what?" Severus spat out dejectedly. "What can drive a person to want to live a crused life?"

Christian dropped his gaze. Then, a softly-spoken but determined word escaped his lips.

"Revenge."

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A hooded, cloaked figure emerged from the shadows and approached a man who sat on a comfortable-looking armchair facing a dying fire. "Facing your fears –how admirable."

"You can't actually be here for me yet. I'm just beginning to enjoy myself," the man had whispered to the night, nursing a glass of scotch in his pale hands. The hooded figure drew closer.

"I still think that blonde hair looks atrocious on you."

The man laughed a hollow laugh. "You're one to talk. You always wear black."

"If I wore red, nobody would take me seriously, don't you think?" The figure countered. The man raised his hands in mock-surrender. "I concede to your wisdom," He stared at the figure. "But why are you really here?"

"Why? Can I not check up on my favorite young man?"

"Ah, you flatter me,"

"I do no such thing, Master –"

"I am no longer your Master." The man stood up and shook his head. "I gave it all up, remember? I am now no better than a slave to you." He moved away from the fire. The figure followed him.

"We have a long history, you and I," the cloaked figure said quietly. The man paused and faced it, his silver eyes brightening slightly. "True. We're friends, I'd like to think –no matter how many times I have managed to defy you –not all completely my fault, by the way." The figure made a gesture of agreement.

"That we are, young man, that we are. Do remember that. Our paths have intertwined more times that it ever was necessary –I think I know enough when something troubles you. Tell me, how are you? My dog has been anxious to meet you all this time –"

"Wait, you have a dog?" The man looked surprised. The figure nodded. "Did I forget to mention him? How thoughtless of me. Someday I'd like you to meet Snuffles. He's been asking about how much longer it wold be for him to finally see you." With those words, the young blonde's eyes misted.

"I –Are they all waiting to see me?"

"Yes."

"Am I allowed to?"

"Of course."

"Even –even him?"

The figure nodded. "Yes. He cries for you sometimes, But Snuffles and Prongs –they try to entertain him." The young man chocked back a sob.

"Tell them –tell them, I will see them soon." The figure nodded once before finally disappearing back into the shadows.

"Good luck, Harry."

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-END OF CHAPTER 5-

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	6. Flesh and Blood

**Chapter 6: Flesh and Blood**

"Severus, have a seat –"

"It could not have possibly been suicide, Minister! He was murdered –somebody killed Harry! The letter you've sent me was most disturbing, so I have consulted with an expert regarding –"

"Severus, please." Minister Shacklebolt stopped him in mid-sentence. "I understand that it is. However, I'm afraid that I have more news regarding that, which we have discussed in confidence –news that I think you should hear as soon as possible."

Severus' eyes shone with a hint of uncertainty. Shacklebolt's voice held no distinguishable emotion, but the Potions Master picked up the subtle hesitance in it. "Not a good news, should I hope?" Minister Shacklebolt stood up from his seat and walked towards Severus. He handed him a plain-looking manila folder.

"The magical DNA was tested against the blood sample we have recently acquired –it did not match 100%"

Severus frowned.

"But that sample was Harry's, I am 101% sure of it! How could it not be a match? What –"

The Minister held his hand up. "I wasn't questioning the authenticity of the blood sample you gave us, Severus. We tested it for any alterations or tampering and found none. The blood is Harry's –"

"But –"

"I did not say that it wasn't a match either. The percentage –" Minister Shacklebolt gestured at the folder in Severus' hands. "Read the summary, it may help you understand better." The Potions Master flipped the folder open and scanned the findings the Minister's team of Unspeakables have compiled. "It says here that the blood sample matched 8 out of 10 points of the magical DNA… 83% of the raw sample matched…" Severus' voice trailed off as he searched for the Minister's eyes. "You cannot –you cannot mean…" The dark man nodded grimly.

"The DNA material on site does not belong to Harry. I don't know how our team missed it, but "

"Not –Not Harry's?" Severus' mind seemed to have been stuck on that part.

"The genetic make-up is similar, Severus." Shacklebolt continued with a graduated sigh. "Too similar, in fact, to be just a random sample." All the color drained from the already pale Potions Master's face. "A –A related sample? But Harry has no living magical relatives! Surely, that is not possible!" The Minister took his seat again and mounted his elbows on his desk, his fingers steepled. He gave Severus a concerned glance. "There is another way, my friend. I thought you knew, but I guess –"

"Knew what? Shacklebolt, how can Harry have a related sample lying around in the Manor? What are you going on about? For Merlin's sake, just cut to the chase!" Shacklebolt dropped his hands on the table. He took a deep breath. Nevermore had Kingsley Shacklebolt been this scared –not even during Voldemort's reign of terror. He held Severus' gaze and braced himself.

"Harry was five months along the way on the day of the fire. It was the fetus' magical DNA that was found at the crime scene."

Severus felt his knees tremble. "You –you can't be serious –tell me you're joking!"

The dark man made no change in his position. Unblinking, he rephrased himself.

"Harry was pregnant, Severus. The unborn child was lost in the fire."

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"Minerva?"

"Yes? Oh, Christian. I did not hear you knock –have a seat, young man. Tea? Scones?" The Defense Master smiled as he took his seat inside the Headmistress' office one fine January morning. "No, thank you. I was merely dropping by to ask a favor from you."

Minerva looked surprised. Christian rarely asked for anything from her –at least personally. "Truly? Well, tell me then, young man. If I could, I will grant it." The formidable witch smiled. Christian nodded politely.

"Well, I was wondering if I could be allowed to return to Ohio for the weekend. I have family affairs to attend to and –" The silver-eyed man's face suddenly looked downcast. He ran his fingers through his hair uneasily. Minerva noticed this with a slight frown.

"Is anything wrong, dear?"

The young professor forced a pleasant look on his features, but his eyes remained vacant. "It would have been my son's first birthday on the 21st –had he –had he survived."

"Heavens!" Minerva clapped a hand to he gaping mouth. "Dear, I did not know you had a family –I mean, I did not pry when you had said that you were alone in life during our interview, but –" A small smile returned to Christian's lips.

"Not your fault, Minerva. I merely like to keep things to myself, but I appreciate your concern." A heavy sigh escaped his lips. "I had been alone most of my life, especially when I was growing up. But yes, I did have my own family once." The Headmistress shook her head in sympathy. "If you do not mind me asking now though child, when you mean should your son have survived…"

Christian soot and turned to leave, his steps, heavy and contrived. A meaningful shake of his head, then…

"He was stillborn," came the reply, with much difficulty. Minerva gasped.

"But –oh, I'm so sorry, my child. But your wife?"

The Defense Master was almost to the door when he turned around to his face his employer once more.

"I did not have any."

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" _ **Congratulations, Mr. Potter. You are 7 weeks along the way."**_

_**The words had sounded pleasant in his ears.** _

_**He would no longer be alone. That bastard might've stolen his husband away from him, but nothing could take away this child –his and Severus'. He rubbed his not yet swollen abdomen with a fond smile. He had always wanted a family, one to call his own, ever since he was a child. When he had learned that he was gay, it had put a damper on his dream. So when he had learned of the newly-discovered possibility of Male Pregnancy through Potions, he did not think twice. He had wanted it to be a surprise for Severus for their first anniversary –then the unexpected happened. The dream took a backseat as he worked hard to try and salvage their marriage. The potion he had brewed with a stolen vial of his husband's blood was kept under lock and key –until that fateful day when Severus had ultimately walked out of his life.** _

_**The process had been tedious and painful, but it was worth it. In seven months, give or take, it will be all so worth it. He continued to caress the tender flesh of his stomach, dreaming of all the wonderful things that cold be. He continued to dream and wonder…** _

_**Then it happened.** _

" _ **I'm so sorry, my little *Everett…"**_

_**Blood trickled from between his legs as the flames grew.** _

" _ **So, so sorry, my little prince… but I will avenge you."**_

_**He could feel Death seeping into his consciousness, ripping through him, collecting his sacrifice of blood and Magic as the ritual commenced.** _

" _ **Hush, little one… Daddy will be with you soon. I –I will make them pay –for taking you –the only one I had left…" The fire roared louder. In the midst of the inferno, a specter appeared, cloaked in black and shadows. The dying man looked up, his bright emerald eyes shining in recognition.**_

" _ **Death? It's been a while. How are you?" The figure's bony hands were outstretched. "Give him to me, young master. Your own blood and thirst for revenge is more than enough payment in exchange for your soul. The little one shall be spared." The young man's lips quivered.**_

" _ **Will I –When will I see him again?"**_

_**Death touched the gentle swell of the man's stomach –and away came a small figure swaddled in an icy pale blue –his son. Death cradled the bundle close to his chest. "The nest time you encounter the moment of singularity, once you fulfill your unfinished business, you will. He will be seeing you."** _

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Christian was in his quarters, packing his things for his weekend trip when Severus arrived.

"I received your note," the older man had said by means of a greeting. He had been allowed access to Christian's quarters without a password since right before the holidays when their private rendezvous became more frequent –and intense. Christian zipped up his overnight bag and turned to welcome his secret lover with a kiss. Severus returned it with fervor. Loath he was to admit it, but his feelings for the younger man were fast becoming less casual. "Going away again?"

Christian smiled as he pulled away. "Only for the weekend. I'll be visiting family."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I was not aware that you had any."

"There are many things you don't know about me, Sevy." Christian winked at the Potions Master. "But that is what makes us together work. I bet that if you knew half of the things about me…" The blonde let his sentence hang. Instead, he pulled the other man in the room for another kiss. Severus was the one who pulled away this time, his onyx eyes were fixed onto the silver ones of the DADA Professor. He sighed.

"First of all, do not call me 'Sevy' unless you want me to start calling you 'Christy'. Second, I may not know many things about you, but I don't need to –I trust you." A lone, potions-stained finger traced the young man's lips. "For some twisted reason or another, it feels as if I've known you forever –"

"But you don't." Christian hastily turned his back from the ebony-haired man and cleared his throat. "So, any potions ingredients you'd like me to pick up for you while I'm away?"

Severus noticed the deliberate change in topic but did not comment on it. Christian never did come across as the type to talk openly about his feelings. "If you could find me a red-veined hellebore that would be most beneficial. I heard from Draco that Flora and Fauna in the Midwest are much diverse. Chances are that the elusive plants here grow like wildflower over there."

Christian nodded absently, gripping the straps of his bag tightly in one hand until his knuckles had all but turned white. "How is your husband?" he asked, trying to keep much of the venom out of his voice.

"Honestly, I have no idea," Severus heaved a sigh. "Since after the holidays, he's been in and out of the country more times than I could count. Half of those times, I don't even know which continent he is in. It is always one business trip after another –business trip my arse."

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

_**A bag made out of moleskin changed hands.** _

" _ **You could have just wired the gold," a deep voice spoke.**_

" _ **It leaves paperwork. Goblins could read, you know? And besides, I'd like to personally check up on you from time to time. How's your pet project, by the way?"**_

" _ **Seriously, all the prat did when we're together was whine about his husband and Harry Potter. And he's all talk. He completely sucks in bed, not like you, Ice. I'm beginning to re-think our deal. Maybe instead of gold, I could take you to my bed and –"**_

" _ **I am no whore," the one called Ice said stiffly. "And besides, the bastard looks like me –use your imagination –play with him, do anything sort of illegal. He thinks himself high and mighty, but I know better. Stick to our plan and keep him away until I need him. Do well and I may just reward you with my company. Fail –well, you know failure is not an option. Don't make me think of the consequences should you fail. Understood?"**_

" _ **Crystal clear, Ice," the deep voice gulped. "But honestly, what do you plan for this man? I'm used to having you pay me to do dirty jobs and cutting through red tape and all that –but baby-sitting? Are you sure you don't want me to get rid of him for you? I could do that for you, make it look like an accident and no one will ever know."**_

_**Ice glared at him. "That's the thing, you nitwit, I want people to know! Do me a favor, will you? Stop asking me all these stupid questions. I'm paying you to keep Draco Malfoy preoccupied. Do it."** _

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

"You think he's cheating on you?" Christian asked quietly, his back still against the Potions Master. "Aren't you bothered by that?" A pregnant pause ensued. When Christian turned around, it was to see Severus reach for a bottle of Scotch and a wide shot glass.

"I deserve it," the older man took a sip of the amber liquid. "I deserve the pain for all I did, for every mistake I've ever committed." He then let out a shaky laugh. "But you know what amuses me? I am not bothered by Draco cheating on me. It should hurt, but it does not. How insane is that?"

Christian frowned as he grabbed the glass of scotch from Severus' hands. "It's too early to drink, Severus"

"Harry used to say that," Severus told him with a sad smile. 'He'd see me drinking and he'd take it from me. Then he'd make me talk to him about what was bothering me –but I'd always refuse." He shook his head. "How could I have possibly talked to him about my infidelity, my dalliances with Draco? I had wanted to drink –then maybe I could forget all the wrongs I've ever committed against the only man that ever made me feel loved –"

"Severus –"

"I knew I was hurting him. I knew he knew. I never deserved him –never!" Severus was now fighting back a sob. "He knew for a year, what I was doing behind his back, and yet –and yet he still gave me a chance. He asked me to choose and I did."

"You regret your choice," Christian said quietly, impassively watching the older man bare his soul in front of him. Severus looked at him, tears finally escaping his onyx-eyes.

"It was the single, biggest mistake of my life."

Christian set the glass he was holding down and approached the Potions Master.

"He's dead."

"He's not!" Severus exclaimed. "I –there's proof –he –he could be alive! The DNA material wasn't his, but –but an unborn child's. He was pregnant –I never knew, when I left him… I did not know. I wish I asked –I never asked." He buried his face in his hands. "If I had known, then maybe –"

"You still love him, obviously," Christian said with nary and emotion. Severus met the man's mercurial eyes.

"Yes."

"Then get out –"

"Christian, I –" Severus looked alarmed all of a sudden, upon realizing who he was speaking to. "I –forgive me –I meant you no harm –"

Christian uncharacteristically grabbed him by the arm and forcefully dragged him towards the exit. With a hard push, he drove the older man out of his quarters. "Never return again!"

"Christian, I'm sorry –"

A pair of smoldering silver orbs darkened.

"It's already too late for that."

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

Potter Manor had been long reduced to ashes, but the wards were maintained out of respect to the former owner's hero status. A soft, almost inaudible 'crack' announced the presence of a wandering soul amongst the rubbles. A pair of jaded eyes softened upon seeing the space. A couple of feather-light steps brought him to what was once the very heart of an impressive abode. Tears became too heavy to hold back so they fell down to the dusty ground, along with a pair of pale hands and shaky knees.

"I can't –I just can't forgive him… Not like this… I can't –it's already too late."

A gentle breeze blew, unsettling the light debris that was scattered around the torched down place, blowing a few strands of stray hair off of the tear-stricken face.

"It's already too late."

The tears fell onto that exact same spot until they could fall no longer.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

Miles away, a soft 'pop' announced the arrival of a house elf.

"Master Malfoy? A package had arrived, sir." The elf placed a big cardboard box on top of the opulent antique chestnut desk that was Draco's and immediately left afterwards. The Lord of the Manor eyed the plain-looking package gingerly as he took a leaf out of his husband's book and casted spell upon detection spell. The scan for hexes and jinxes came up negative –nor was there any indicator of where it could have come from. With a shrug, he began to tear into the package, eager to find out the content of the mysterious delivery.

Not a few seconds later, a high-pitched shriek, coupled with an infant's wail echoed all throughout Malfoy Manor. Afterwards, the Lord of the House was seen running out of his office, his platinum blonde hair, pale face and delicate hands soaked –in crimson blood.

The opened box lay forgotten in his wake, but the horror that was once inside it could certainly be not.

Inside was a large glass specimen jar, filled with what looked to be liquid formalin –and floating in it, was a five-month old fetus. In its miniscule hands was a small piece of cardboard, with the word 'MURDERER' written in blood.

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**

-END OF CHAPTER 6-

**01010101010101010100101010101010101010**


	7. Cries

**Chapter 7: Cries**

It was the last week of February, and another Ministry-sealed envelope made its way to Severus' hands. Weeks ago, he had learned that his ex-husband was with child when he had presumably perished in that horrible fire, after learning of the man's possible survival of it. And now, he had his fool-[roof confirmation that that child had been his. The magical DNA found in the ruins was 83% compatible to his own blood sample. The paternity tests had been conclusive.

The child Harry had carried would have been Severus' first-born.

His and Harry's…

It pained him to know of the opportunity he had missed to no end.

And now, he could not possibly stop thinking about it. His mind seemed to be in a singular frame of thought nowadays; Draco never showed up anymore –he only heard from him once since January. Things have become painfully awkward with Christian as well –only that, he couldn't blame the Defense Professor. How weird was it to have an affair with a man who cheated on his first husband with the second one, only to cheat on the second one with someone who reminded him of the first –whom he apparently loved still? Severus had taken the initiative of avoiding Christian. The young man did not deserve to be further involved in his rather complicates situation. With nothing else to occupy him, his thoughts during his idle time centered on one thing, and one thing alone…

Harry's death –or rather, his survival from it. Bargain with Death did not work for suicidal people. It could only mean one thing: somebody had tried to kill Harry –and almost got away with it… but who? A rogue Death Eater the DMLE somehow had missed? An over-zealous fan? Someone with a hidden grudge on the Vanquisher of Voldemort? Who?

Was Harry really out for revenge? Did he really choose a cursed life to get back at those who had hurt him? Did that include Severus? Then why would Harry send Severus his blood –was it to mock him, to let him know he was alive, to let him know that he had once carried their child?

' _Why, Harry? I wish you would tell me.'_

Severus folded the parchment in his hands with a heavy heart. It was all his fault. If Harry was indeed out there alive, he would give everything just to see him again. He stuffed the letter in one of his desk drawers and stood up. He had a class to teach in ten minutes. He needed to get ready. However, he had yet to take a step away from his desk when a package materialized on top of it –another box. This time however, it was wrapped in red crepe paper with a bright blue bow on top. Severus immediately remembered the similar manner another box like this arrived last Christmas…

Another delivery from Harry? Was his ex-husband really alive and doing this? How? Why? Without hesitance, he tore the wrapper open. For some reason, he trusted 'Harry' not to put a curse on the package.

The box was yet again filled with confetti, but there were no vials in it his time. Instead, Severus' searching eyes and hands found something else…

The Potions Master's calloused fingers touched what he deemed to be the softest fleece blanket he had ever encountered. It was an icy, pale blue, edged with a silver trim. The onyx-eyed man brought it closer to his face for inspection. It smelled freshly-laundered, powdery, heavenly –like babies were supposed to smell like –he thought. Tears began welling up in his eyes. He held the blanket close to his chest –it was then that he had noticed. One corner was monogrammed. Severus could make out four letters intertwined in an artful, old-English font. It was done in silver thread, bordered with black. It seemed to have been done by hand:

**ECPS**

Inexplicable warmth suddenly flooded him. P and S could only mean Potter-Snape, Harry's former married name. If this blanket should have belonged to whom Severus thought it did, then E and C would have been…

Without letting go of the pale blue fleece, Severus dug through the confetti. He was not disappointed. A note card was nestled among the tiny pieces of torn-up paper. And on the note card were the four words that Severus would give up anything for to know.

**Everett Calyx Potter-Snape.**

"Everett…" Severus found himself staring at the printed letters, whispering them to himself almost reverently for quite a few times. "My son…"

For the first time in Hogwarts' History, Potions under Severus Snape had been cancelled for that day.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

_**A man hidden in shadows was waiting. His contact was to meet him at exactly 18:00 hours behind the rear entrance gate of Lima National Park. A couple of minutes before the appointed time, a 'pop' of apparition deposited a tall, hooded figure next to the man in shadows.** _

" _ **Ice?" The newcomer asked in a deep voice. "You look different, your eyes –"**_

" _ **Cold," the hidden man replied annoyingly. "Do you have what I need?"**_

_**The hooded figure pulled a small vial from the pocket of his robes and handed it to the man. "I was told that this will be permanent." Ice eyed the vial warily. "If you go against our deal, I will kill you," he said simply. The tall, hooded figure gulped. "But of course."** _

" _ **Has your new hobby confided in you yet?"**_

" _ **He hasn't been sleeping well. Nightmares, he claims," said the hooded man. "What is my next step?" Ice made no move to answer. Instead, he had pocketed the vial in his hands and turned to leave. However, he had not taken but a couple of steps when he turned around and pointed the tip of his newly-purchased alder and unicorn hair wand at the hooded figure: "OBLIVIATE!"**_

_**The figure slumped down on the ground out cold. Ice smiled, walking away from the shadows. The early morning Ohio sun caught the rapidly-darkening streaks in his bleached blonde hair. His brilliant green eyes glowed in the light.** _

" _ **Your next step is to disappear. Time has come. I no longer have any use for you." Ice reached into his robes and pulled out the small vial once more. A few minutes later, his emerald eyes were forever gone, replaced by the equally haunting silver ones he had already learned to embrace. There was amusement in**_  those orbs, hunger, and determination.

"Watch out, I'm coming."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Severus Snape rushed into the Albus Dumbledore Memorial Ward at St. Mungo's. His black robes billowing behind him rather impressively. He stopped in front of the information desk, where a gum-chewing intern sat.

"Draco Malfoy, please." Severus inquired. The attending healer of his husband had called in the middle of his third period class, saying that Draco was admitted at St. Mungo's. But somehow, he had not been given the room number. The girl behind the desk barely gave him a glance.

"1204."

Concern was etched onto Severus' face as he opened the door of Room 1204 –no matter what, Draco was still his husband. A pale blonde figure sat on the bed.

"Oh, Severus –thank Merlin –"

"What happened, Draco?" Severus asked as he enveloped the younger man in a haphazard hug. Draco burst into tears.

"It won't stop crying, Severus…" the blonde sobbed. "Please… make it stop!"

Severus pulled away and met his husband's eyes. "Draco, what are you going on about? What is it that won't stop crying?" The blonde bit his lip worriedly before pulling himself up against his husband's chest. "I'm so sorry, Severus. I –I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'll do anything –anything! Please –just make it stop crying!"

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

"You've said that that is the third time this month that Draco had himself admitted, Healer Boot. Just what exactly is wrong with my husband?" Severus asked as he sat in the office of Healer Terry Boot.

"To be frank, Professor, I see no physical ailment plaguing Mr. Malfoy –"

"You mean it is all in his head?" The Potions Master looked alarmed and curious as the same time. Healer Boot held his gaze steadily. "A lot of factors could contribute to it –stress, trauma –has your husband experienced any episodes of depression lately?"

"None that I know of," Severus admitted. "He's become extremely secretive lately. As you can see, he had been here twice before and I am only learning about this now."

Healer Boot furrowed his brows. "Any triggers –anything out of the ordinary happening to him? Perhaps a change in routine?"

Severus shook his head. "As I've said, he almost never tells me anything nowadays –I don't know if that counts. He's rarely home, but that has been the norm since after our marriage. I am as clueless as you probably are."

Healer Boot looked thoughtful. He then reached from behind his desk and unearthed a couple of what looked like muggle calling cards. He handed them to his former Professor. "We need to admit Mr. Malfoy for an unspecified amount of time –just so we can keep an eye out for triggers in his behavior. In the mean time, you could contact one of these, sir. They are some of the best in the field of Mind Healing. They might be better to help your husband."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Severus sat in his office later that night, his mind filled with all sorts of thoughts and images. A glass of scotch accompanied him in his mental meanderings.

"I heard your husband was sick, I'm sorry to hear it," a soft voice knocked the Potions Master out of his stupor. "Christian?" Disbelief was clearly etched in his face. "What –what are you doing here? I mean, have a seat –"

"I was just checking on a friend," the Defense Master said. "You didn't look so well at dinner and I thought, well, I've already seen you. I guess I should leave and let you get some rest –"

"What –no, wait!" Severus stood abruptly from his seat. "Please have a seat. It -it has been a while and –I know it was wrong of me to –"

"No, Severus," Christian shook his head. "Let us not talk about it anymore, okay?" He turned to leave. "I'm glad you're –okay, despite everything."

Severus could only stare at the door to his quarters as it closed shut behind Christian's retreating back.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Visiting hours were over for the day at St. Mungo's, but in Room 1204, the patient in admittance still had a guest –a guest that nobody would ever know about.

The figure was heavily cloaked and hooded, effectively masking any physical attribute that might have given his/her identity away. It also carried a nondescript wand in its hand, specifically procured for this purpose.

The figure waved the solid wand across the door, casting an obscuring charm, before making its way towards the middle of the room where a man lay sleeping. It stopped just right by the foot of the bed. The sleeping man's face was handsome and untroubled, his breathing, steady and evened.

"Not for long," the hooded figure whispered, its voice breathy and distorted. It waved its wand over the sleeping man's prone form. "Somnis Horris Perpetua*!"

A bright purple light encompassed the man on the bed. Merely seconds later, the handsome face became distorted, the man's breathing, labored. Then, a petrified scream rang all across the Albus Dumbledore Memorial Ward. Healers rushed towards the thrashing blonde's side as the hooded figure faded, unnoticed, back to the shadows where he came from. A macabre smile graced his otherwise haunted features.

"I would make you wish for Death, but Death will not come for you until I say so."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Another week passed. Another package appeared on Severus' desk that morning. He wasted no time opening the mysterious delivery. A note greeted the Potions Master first:

**IT WILL BE OVER SOON.**

Severus dropped the morbidly-cryptic note. What did that mean? He rummaged through the now-familiar sea of confetti –and unearthed a set of black silk robes…

Mourning robes.

Severus need not try it on to know it was tailored to fit him.

' _Why, Harry? Why go through all of this? I know I've hurt you –but why? Why bargain with Death? Is it worth it just to torment me? I don't know how or why you would want to exact revenge on me, Harry, but whatever it is, it is working. I died that day they told me you had perished in that fire –and again when they told me you could have survived it –once more when they had confirmed that we had a son… A son, I could have a son –Harry, why did you not tell me? Why not come forward and tell me who did this to you?'_

Severus brought the robes to his cheek. It smelled of pine and aftershave. Like Harry.

' _Is it my doom that fulfills your purpose for coming back? My death? Please, Harry, tell me. Am I to mourn for you? For Everett? Just tell me, Harry… whatever it is…'_

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

_**It was an overcast Tuesday. The sound of boot-clad feet hitting gravel and dried leaves permeated the chilly early morning air. The foot steps ceased in front of a massive marble marker. It read:** _

HARRY JAMES POTTER

31 July 1980 -12 August 2001

_Love is the Greatest Magic there is._

_**There had been no body to bury. Beneath the marker was an empty grave.** _

" _ **I'm sorry Harry. I'm so sorry."**_

_**Amongst the dried up bouquets now lay a fresh bunch of marigolds, gladiolas and purple calla lilies. The footsteps retreated the way they had arrives, completely missing the other pair of feet hidden from behind the dead oak trees and rose bushes.** _

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Another man stood before the same marker. It was a clear day in March.

"I am already as good as dead. But soon, it will all be over soon."

A wave of his wand cleared the decay around the marble headstone. Another wave modified the inscription. Below the original it now read:

**EVERETT CALYX POTTER-SNAPE**

**12 August 2001**

_**With every hope, there is reason…** _

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

-END OF CHAPTER 7-

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Somnis Horris Perpetua – a murder of Latin (sorry) that roughly translates to Eternal Nightmare


	8. Stop

**Chapter 8: Stop**

"Severus, have a seat. I have news for you regarding Harry's case"

For the nth time, the onyx-eyed Potions Professor slumped down in front of the Minister of Magic's desk. There were shadows under his eyes and the lines creasing his pale face were becoming more and more prominent.

"What else could go wrong?" He asked dejectedly. The Minister eyed him with concern.

"Severus, I heard about Draco –how is he?" A meaningful sigh escaped Severus' lips. He shook his head. "I do not know how to help him. Things have been too shaky lately… What is it about Harry's case?"

Minister Shacklebolt brought out the quickly-becoming staple manila folder.

"We have a team of experts from Australia that specialize in magical forensics. They were able to recreate the specific conditions surrounding Harry's presumed death in that fire. It's a newly-discovered method that employs a lot of muggle science –Merlin, aren't our law enforcement methods outdated! If we've had this technology back then –"

"This is obviously way over my head, Minister." Severus discarded the folder. "What exactly is it that they have found out?"

Suddenly, the Minister's face was very grim.

"They have reevaluated the premises and found out that Harry wasn't completely –alone –when the fire occurred –"

"What!" Severus was out of his seat in a heartbeat. "So –so that means that someone did try to kill him!"

"The case wasn't much of an act of arson," Minister Shacklebolt amended, his eyes darkening considerably. "It was murder all along. It ties with our theory of Harry employing the Death Warrant Curse –"

A nearby crystal decanter filled with whiskey spontaneously exploded into smithereens. Severus' eyes blazed with unmistakable rage.

"Who –just who did this to Harry? Tell me!"

"We're running the reconstructed magical signature of Harry's potential killer in our database –so far, we have no match –"

"Well, what are we doing here then?" Severus exclaimed. "Get more experts! Run more tests! Find more evidence! We can't just let this pass!"

"Severus, calm down! We are doing all we can," said the Minister. "You are here because I need a favor from you. There is something I want you to get for me."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

It was the last week before Easter Break. Severus had just come from visiting Draco in St. Mungo's. For all the treatment and counseling the blonde was getting, he just seemed to get worse every time Severus visited.

" _ **It won't stop crying, Severus! Make it stop! Please make it stop!"**_

Draco had said nothing else ever since. The Potions Master shook his head as he passed by Hagrid's Hut. The half-giant politely nodded at him, which he had reciprocated half-heartedly. He had just finished speaking with the goblins at Gringotts regarding Minister Shacklebolt's peculiar request for his and Draco's bank statements. The goblins looked quite puzzled as he was when he had told them –but if it helped in solving the puzzle of Harry's 'death' in any way, then who was he to argue? He personally wanted to learn of the bastard's identity, but he knew that it was better left off to people whose job it was to figure it out.

' _We're finally getting somewhere, Harry. Soon, I'll find out exactly how –and why…'_

'Harry's packages' as he had begun calling it, ceased coming almost a month ago. And disturbingly morbid as they were, Severus could not help but feel a pang of longing in his heart. They were proof that Harry was somehow safe –somewhere –plotting revenge or whatever it was that made the emerald-eyed man bargain with Death. It was proof that he was still alive,,,

The Potions Master thought back to Christian's explanation of the Death Warrant Curse.

' _I refuse to believe that such hate could reside in Harry's heart –there must be another reason. He may be out to expose whoever did this to him… but who? Who would kill Harry?'_

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

"Gather around, everyone!" Christian's magically magnified voice echoed across the Great Hall where some of the students, mostly upperclassmen, were congregated. The Defense Professor then smiled.

"In preparation for the Annual Hogwarts' Year-End Exhibition Games, Headmistress McGonagall has given me leave to reinstate Dueling Lessons, the event, which will be included in the games." The young professor climbed up a raised platform that ran the length of the cavernous hall. "I was told that this was last staged back in '92 when an incompetent fool masquerading as a teacher –" Whispers broke out from those present. "And our esteemed Professor Snape." Christian gestured towards the Potions Master who gave him a curt nod as he, too, climbed up the platform. The Defense Master politely nodded back, his eyes not betraying any kind of emotion whatsoever, before addressing the students once more.

"Well, I hope I could provide a much better challenge for our dear Potions Master," Christian quipped, drawing out a few grins and a couple of worried glances from the crowd. "We shall be giving a short demonstration before the lesson proper begins." The blonde winked at his students. "It should prove to be most enlightening."

Without further ado, the two men took their places in the middle of the raised platform, eyes not leaving each other's as they met halfway. When they were about a foot away, Christian broke character and grinned at his opponent, the challenge evident in his gaze. If Severus was surprised of the gesture or not, it wasn't noticeable –his face remained stoic and unreadable. From somewhere, a gong sounded, prompting the two men to face the other way. Severus could undeniably feel the heat radiating from his younger colleague's back as the count down began.

One.

Christian gripped his ebony and dragon heartstring wand in his right hand tightly as he took a step. Severus mirrored him unknowingly, tightly grasping the birch and unicorn tail hair implement in his left.

Two.

The second count was muttered under Christian's breath, his gaze unwavering and steady. On the opposite end of the platform, Severus took a deep breath, completely misreading his apprehension as indecisiveness. A couple more steps…

Three.

The relaxed poses of the dueling pair morphed to tensed in a heartbeat. Christian was first to turn on pivot as he raised his wand for the standard opening salvo. His lips formed the first spell.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

" _ **Expelliarmus!"**_

" _ **Predictable, Potter –Protego! Relashio!"**_

_**A laughing Harry ducked, avoiding the hex that came barreling towards him.** _

" _ **Aww, you know me, Severus. I can't resist a good disarming spell –Incarcerous!"**_

_**Severus blocked it wordlessly.** _

" _ **You are training to kill, you fool –not incapacitate the Dark Lord!" The Potions Master scowled. "And since when did I give you leave to call me by my given name –you insolent brat –Rictumsempra!"**_

_**The emerald-eyed young man dropped and rolled to his left. He shook his head disbelievingly. "Don't you think that after having your tongue repeatedly stuck down my throat that I could already address you informally, Professor?" He smirked. "Tantallegra!"** _

" _ **Why you –" Severus stepped sideways to his right. "What I do during my idle time does not in any way concern you while we are in a professional setting, Potter! Which I may remind you is where we are right at present! You will not speak of our liaison –not while I am a Master of this school and your teacher –unless you wish to find yourself in a predicament –Diffindo! Reducto!"**_

_**Harry rolled his eyes with a sigh. He jumped to his right. "Yeah, yeah. But seriously, Sev. Can we not just lighten up a bit? Deflecto! Divesto!"** _

_**The Potions Master's eyes widened momentarily at his student –slash –lover's change of pace. Harry Potter never used a defensive strategy; he always moved out of the way of an oncoming spell. Severus managed to put up his shield a second too late… and ended up naked. His millisecond of being caught off-guard robbed the Potions Master of his ability to think coherently for a while. When he had picked up his pace again to try and curse Harry into oblivion, it was most certainly too late. The young man stood before his once most-feared Professor with a 'cat-ate-the-canary' grin.** _

" _ **Expelliarmus! Incarcerous!"**_

_**Severus was disarmed, bound and naked –under the mercy of his blasted student. Harry summoned the birch wand and pocketed it. He then trained his holly and phoenix feather wand onto his lover.** _

" _ **Now, you were saying, Sev?"**_

_**Severus' face flushed. Now, if it was from rage, or embarrassment, or both, it was never discovered. "Potter, I –"** _

_**Any protest –or otherwise –that he might have gad were cut off right then and there as Harry swiftly silenced him with a deep heated kiss.** _

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

"Expelliarmus!"

A jet of red light flew from the tip of Christian's wand, rushing towards its target: a wide-eyed Severus Snape. Despite his surprise though, the Potions Master managed to duck and evade the disarming spell. However, he did not even get a moment to recollect his bearings and counter the attack from his younger colleague, as the Defense Master appeared to be on a rampage with his seemingly endless barrage of spells hurling towards the elder wizard.

"Incarcerous! Tantallegra! Reducto!" Christian exclaimed in rapid succession. To anyone who did not know any better, it seemed that Christian Spane was on a ruthless war path to rid the world of one ebony-haired, onyx-eyed wizard. However if one would look closely at the man's quick-silver eyes, it would betray the said man's obvious amusement.

Severus Snape on the other hand appeared to be caught completely off-guard. For a moment, it looked like he was sorely losing the duel even before he could retaliate; But he wasn't Severus Snape, Potions Master, ex-spy and former Death Eater for nothing.

As the Reducto sailed past his left shoulder, the dark-eyed wizard forced himself to snap out of his momentary daze. With a determined countenance, he tightened his grip on his wand and launched a counter-tirade:

"Relashio! Rictumsempra! Diffindo!"

A rather violent-looking trio of scarlet, aqua and purple shot right out of the Potions Master's wand, heading straight towards his blonde opponent, who by that time, was already sporting quite a big smile on his youthful face.

Christian stood, unmoving, watching as Severus regained his composure and fired off the fatal triumvirate of spells now fast-approaching him. The DADA Professor made no move however, to deflect said curses or avoid it –much to the astonishment of the awe-struck audience, even more so, when Christian assumed a neutral pose and dropped his wand arm to his side. The three spells inched closer and closer…

Severus could not believe his eyes. Was this man really suicidal? His obsidian eyes could only stare in disbelief as Christian just stood in the way of his spellwork, seemingly frozen, with no obvious effort to either block or avoid them. The Potions Master felt his heart start beating wildly –surely he had wanted to emerge victorious in this mock-duel, but to hurt Christian? He still had his evil git persona on full force, especially after his break-up with Harry was publicized; he was the anti-hero, the villain… Did Christian trust him that much not to hurt him?

Severus' eyes searched for anything, any tell that Christian's body language was giving away. But aside from that serene smile on his handsome features, his secret ex-lover was blank. He could not read the blonde's thoughts. There was less than a foot of distance between Christian and the rushing ray of light. Severus felt everything around him stop; his whole body froze –but he felt his lips move on their own accord…

"CHRISTIAN, NO!"

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

" _ **Get out of they way, Harry!"**_

" _ **No, I won't let you leave! Tell me, why? Why did you have to kill him? He was as good as your father –your mentor! Why did you betray him? Why? Why did you betray me? I thought –Deflecto! Mobiliocorpus!"**_

" _ **You won't understand, Potter! You'll never understand –what I had to do –what I still have to do –Protego! Get out of my way –don't make me hurt you !"**_

" _ **You mean hurt me MORE? I trusted you, Severus! And as much as I hate to admit it, I trust you still! No matter what you've done, I believe you have a reason. Just tell me! At least tell me why –"**_

" _ **I refuse to believe that your stupidity knows no bounds. I told you to get out of the way!"**_

" _ **NO! You are not a murderer!"**_

" _ **I am! I am a dark, evil man! Get out of my way, Potter!"**_

" _ **No! You are not evil! I know you're not –no evil man laughs and cries and loves –I love you, Severus –"**_

" _ **It was a mistake! I shouldn't have – I don't – I never did –"**_

" _ **Do you really think I believe that, Snape? You want a way out of here, fine! Go on and give me your best shot, Professor! The only way I will let you leave is if I'm on the ground looking up your blasted eyes. If you never did care about me like you said –if the two of us together was just a mistake –"**_

" _ **Potter, I –"**_

" _ **Look, I don't know what your plan is –all I know is what I feel for you. And it's real. And it's never going to change no matter how many times you push me away, you coward!"**_

" _ **I am no coward, you insolent, little –"**_

" _ **Pushing away people around you when they get to close is cowardice, Professor. And you are of the worst kind! Go on, try to get past me! Time to test the weapon you helped forge –Sectumsempra!"**_

" _ **How dare you use my own spell against me –I, the Half-Blood Prince? Pathetic whelp –just like your father! I'm giving you one last chance to back off, Potter!"**_

" _ **I AM NOT MY FATHER, YOU ARSE-KISSING DOLT! HIT ME! FIGHT BACK! MOBILIOCORPUS!"**_

" _ **You're asking for it –SECTUMSEMPRA!"**_

" _ **I trust you, Severus…"**_

_**The holly and Phoenix feather lay forgotten on one side.** _

" _ **WHAT-MOVE! Pick up your wand –HARRY, NO!"**_

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

As soon as the words left Severus' lips, the fatal combination of spells made contact with…

Thin air?

Christian Spane was no longer at his end of the platform.

Severus' eyes widened, his mouth agape, but he had barely had time to register what had happened to his opponent. Mere seconds after the blonde's vanishing act, he felt a presence right behind his back. Then, a whisper, right next to his ear.

"Avada Kedavra."

The Potions Master immediately spun around, a curse at the ready on his lips –only to face a smiling Christian Spane, merely inches away from him. The Defense Professor's face was nearly leveled with his, and the man's wand was pointed directly at his heart.

"It seems that I've won, Professor," Christian said, his eyes blazing with an unknown emotion. Severus frowned despite himself. With his free hand, he pushed Christian's wand away –forcefully.

"I beg to differ, Professor Spane. I am still able. The Standard Dueling Rules dictate that a match ends only when either one of the two parties is incapacitated or –"

"Dead." Christian pushed the wand he was holding harder against the older wizard's chest. "Had I put more motivation into that last spell, you would be." His smile dropped a notch, almost unnoticeably. He then turned around to face the students who all seemed to be holding their breaths.

"Pair up! I want to assess your strengths and weaknesses."

The sudden commotion greatly contrasted with the utter silence that not long ago permated the Great Hall.

But inside his chest, Severus' heart had almost come to a complete stop.

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"Minerva!"

"Oh –Severus! What is going on? Why do you look like a wild hippogriff on the loose? What happened? Are you not supposed to be at the Great Hall overseeing Professor Spane's Dueling Class?"

The Potions Master was almost out of breath as he dropped onto one of the seats in front of the Headmistress' desk inside the circular office that had been once briefly his. "I need –to –know –" Severus clutched his chest as he tried to speak in between pants. "About –about –Christian –Spane –"

Minerva's eyes shot up. "Christian? What on earth for, Severus? Is something the matter between you and Professor Spane?" Severus shook his head as he collected himself.

"I need to know –where he came from –who –he is – what he is –"

"But –"

"Just tell me, woman!" Severus managed to choke out, addressing a shocked Headmistress.

"Severus Snape! Do not raise your voice at me, young man! And what is this sudden interest in Christian Spane? What are you not telling me?"

The man's obsidian eyes looked into the formidable witch's as he heaved a sigh.

"I –I have reason to think –that he is not who he claims to be. I mean –I had doubts before, but today. I just have to know."

Minerva raised an eyebrow. Severus saw the question in her eyes. He was torn between running away and coming clean. In the end, his calm and logical reasoning won out.

"I think –that Christian is Harry."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

The sun was beginning to set. A cloaked figure stood on a prepiece made out of what appeared to be heavy clouds of gray smoke. A huge black dog appeared from behind.

"It's almost time, Snuffles," the figure reached down and scratched the dog's ears. It barked and wagged its tail in response.

"I know you miss him, but we must be patient… It shouldn't be any longer now."

Snuffles barked twice, as if in agreement. The figure sighed.

"Well, I best be off, my boy. I have a task to fulfill and souls to ferry. Remind Prongs to let Everett rest. His Daddy won't be happy if the little guy is cranky when he sees him again, okay?"

Snuffles barked twice more before excitedly running off towards the setting sun.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

-END OF CHAPTER 8-

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	9. Decisions

**Chapter 9: Decisions**

"FIRE! Fiendfyre on the Albus Dumbledore Ward!"

Screams permeated the sterile air –particularly, a petrified blonde man's cries for help.

"Merlin –HELP ME! Make it stop! Make it stop! Please, I'm sorry –I'm sorry! Please help me! HELP ME!"

Flames danced and flickered merrily right next to the man's frightened form. His platinum hair and silvery eyes were orange from the glow of the creeping tongues of fire.

"MAKE IT STOP! I'm sorry –MAKE IT STOP!"

From the raging conflagration that seemed to have come straight from hell, a form emerged. From the crumbling ashes, a phoenix was reborn.

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," a cryptic voice said.

"Please, I'll do anything –just make it stop! I'm sorry –I'm sorry! Please… I'll do anything –just make it stop!" The blond man pleaded hysterically as the fire began licking the space immediately surrounding him, but not beyond.

"Too late for apologies," the mysterious voice said. "You should have thought about that when I was the one pleading and begging for my –for my son's life."

"What –you –no… But you're dead!" The blonde on the bed exclaimed. "No, please, don't do this to me! I –you –you're not evil –"

"I'm not, but you certainly bring out the worst in people." The voice declared. 'I'm not , but we will both be dead before the night is over anyway."

The flames rose higher as the petrified man's screams grew louder.

"Oh, Merlin –Please, no! I'll do anything –I'll give you anything!" The man on the bed begged.

'There is nothing I want –"

"Then I'll do anything! Please! Just make it stop! I'm begging you, please! I'll do anything –"

"Anything?" The cryptic voice confirmed. The fire was burning through everything in its path. The blonde man on the bed was already completely engulfed in a sea of crimson and black.

"Any-anything," he coughed. "Just please –make it stop –make it stop –"

The phoenix turned into another man: blond hair, silver eyes –an almost doppelganger of the one on the bed. An amused smile played on his thin lips, one that certainly reached his now-glowing vermillion irises. He raised his hands and the flames grew even higher, forming a solid curtain of fire around the petrified man.

"Die," he said simply, before bursting into a spectacular shower of red and blue sparks and disappearing without a trace.

The blonde on the bed could only shriek louder as the Fiendfyre engulfed his mortal body.

"NOOOOO!"

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

"Well?" Minerva eyed Severus imploringly. It was later that same night and the two were still poring over Christian Spane's personal files. The Potions Master shook his head.

"It does not make any sense!" He threw the folder aside dejectedly. "Why isn't anything making sense?"

"Maybe you are looking into this more than you should, Severus," offered Minerva. Severus had earlier briefed the Headmistress regarding his suspicions after swearing her to secrecy. "Maybe all this is, is but a lucky coincidence of some osrt –"

"All year long, " Severus cut right in. "All year long, I've had my doubts, Minerva –there were a lot of things going through my head. Then, Shacklebolt tells me that somehow –somehow Harry had probably survived using a dark ritual –that it was murder all along and not suicide –and things suddenly just fall into place," he sighed meaningfully, shaking his head. "No matter what my gut feel told me, I have always –ALWAYS –given Spane the benefit of the doubt. But today, it was just too much –you should have seen him! If –if there is any possibility, any chance at all, that he's Harry –I I don't know how I will be able to take it!"

"Exactly what, did occur today?"

The Potions Master pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose and briefly closed his eyes.

"The duel –you should have seen him. I was his Dueling Master for over a year –If there is anyone who knew his style, it would have been me. There were instances before when I'd notice similarities –small things –between Harry and Christian that I'd chalk up to emotional fatigue my ex-husband's death has caused me, but the duel today, it was a dead give away. There is just no other explanation for it –on how Christian Spane's style and magical signature matched that of Harry Potter's! I know that style like the back of my own hand. I don't know who exactly Christian Spane is, but the man I dueled back there is none other than Harry Potter!"

Minerva sighed.

"But his files are all authentic, Severus. There is not a single forgery –all are approved by the US Ministry of Magic. The young man I hired, our Defense Professor IS Christian Spane. If what you've said is true –that Harry did survive and is out for revenge –then you are probably suspecting the wrong man. And besides, Christian looks nothing like Harry –any altering spell or potion would have been negated by the wards we have installed –"

"You mean the wars that our previous Defense Professor had helped installed?" Severus snorted. "Wards that Harry himself had helped install? And if you did not read Christian Spane's files carefully, Minerva, the man is a level 8 Certified Potioneer –only a point short of a Guild Master –"

"There you go!" Exclaimed Minerva. "Harry Potter would never get a Mastery in Potions –you taught him yourself, Severus! You know he'd be a poor Potions student. If Christian is indeed Harry, he would not have gotten a Mastery in the span of what –a year? And these certifications have passed the stringent authentication spells our Professional Regulations Department had subjected it to –"

"He's mot completely hopeless," the Potions Master admitted with a shake of his head. "The man –Harry –was terrified of me. That led to his disastrous performance in my class –you know he excelled in Slughorn's, right? He was given a adequate set of instructions and he performed admirably. And you know how determined Harry was, Minerva,. He's one of your Lions, after all. He thinks I do not know, but he was studying on the sly on his own. He was at least a level 5 by the time we got married –he was beyond passable." Minerva looked curious and surprised at the same time.

"Are –are you certain?"

Severus caught her eye and sighed.

"Right before he –well, I have proof of his Potions-making prowess. He had managed to successfully brew an IPG –certified level 8 potion –the Male Pregnancy Potion –only the user could make it for himself –and it worked.

Minerva gasped. She looked torn between confusion and an epiphany.

"The MPREG –but –it worked, did you say?"

"He used it," Severus said, avoiding Minerva's gaze. "He –he was 5 months pregnant when the fire happened. It was the fetus' remains that the Aurors found onsite and they mistook it to be Harry's since the genetic make-up was similar –"

"But –but the other father –"

"It was mine, mine and Harry's. The potion was most probably completed earlier –before things started to fall apart." The onyx eyes were shining with unshed tears now. "Do you see why this is important for me, Minerva? If Christian is indeed Harry –I need to know! I need to know why he's going through all of this! Revenge? To hurt me? Torment me? Kill me? Is he giving me another chance to make things right? I need to know who did this to him!" There were already twin rivers on the dark wizard's cheeks by then. It broke Minerva's heart to bits.

"Severus, you have to stay calm –" But Severus was beyond inconsolable. Minerva McGonagall was one of three people that had seen him in his worst since he had defected from the Dark Lord's service in the first war –the other two were long dead. Or rather, one of them was long dead, and the other was back for revenge.

"I need to let him know how sorry I am –it was all my fault! I've hurt him, our child –"

"I can only imagine your grief, child," Minerva comforted him in the only way she knew the normally-stoic man would allow. She squeezed his hand. "I do not know how I can help, but –now that you've mentioned it… something that Christian once told me struck me as odd –"

"What is it?" Severus was beyond demanding politely. "Tell me! I need to know!"

Minerva McGonagall suddenly looked all of her advanced years as she told her favorite Slytherin of the day that Christian Spane mentioned his family.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

"SPANE! I need a word!"

"Severus?" Christian turned to face the harried-looking Potions Master with a smile on his face. It was even later into that night –almost to midnight. "Is there anything I could do for you? I'm on my way to the Astronomy Tower for patrolling duties –should be exciting –"

"Just –WHO –are you?" Severus seethed as he caught up with his younger colleague, his face distorted by the desperation he was feeling. He had the younger wizard cornered in a dark and deserted alcove. Christian on the other hand kept his countenance neutral, his voice light and genial.

"I beg your pardon?"

Severus frowned.

"Tell me, who did this to you? Why are you doing all this? Do you want to hurt me? Kill me? Torment me? Whatever it is, I need to know!" His voice rose with every question, his onyx eyes ablaze. Christian for his part, looked genuinely confused and alarmed.

"I'm not sure what you are talking about, Professor Snape –have you been drinking again?" He gently shook his magnificent head and grabbed the Potions Master's left elbow. "Let me help you back to your quarters –"

"Let go of me!" Severus spat out heatedly, forcefully dislodging his arm from Christian's grasp. "It's over. Whatever charade this is –it's over." He in turn held the younger man and pinned him against the wall with both of his hands. Deep, obsidian eyes latched onto the silver ones like it was a life line. "No matter what color your eyes are –you still manage to arrest me… I know it is you. I do not know how or why, but I am genuinely sorry -"

"What are you going on about, Severus?" Christian asked, his eyes wide with surprise. But instead of replying to his query, or even explaining himself, the clearly agitated Potions master closed the gap between them two and sealed any of the Defense Professor's other possible protests with a kiss.

"I'm so sorry, my Harry."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

_**A knock was heard on Severus' laboratory door. Nobody knocked on his door. He ignored it and focused on bottling the Scintillating Solution he was brewing. Not five seconds later, the knocking resumed, louder, more persistent this time.** _

" _ **Professor? It's Harry Potter. I'm here for my lessons –"**_

_**Of course, who else could it be?** _

" _ **I assume you could read, Mr. Potter. The note on my office door clearly states that I no longer have time for you –go away and let me die in peace."**_

_**A pregnant pause ensued.** _

" _ **You're avoiding me," a petulant voice retorted. Then, the sound of breaking vials came on; a doorknob rattled and wood banged on stone. Smoldering onyx eyes met defiant emerald ones.**_

" _ **I am –not –avoiding you!"**_

" _ **You're afraid of me then," Harry smiled, taking a step towards his professor. "Is it because of what O had said? Why are you so afraid of having someone care for you?"**_

" _ **I am not!" Severus spat out heatedly. "Now go before I do something I would regret!"**_

" _ **I think not," Harry's smile widened. "If you aren't scared of me, if you aren't avoiding me, then I think I should stay, sir." He took another step forward. The tow wizards were merely inches away from each other. Severus could feel his student's body heat, greatly contrasting with the cold dungeon air… It made him heady. The emerald eyes on him were no less intense.**_

" _ **I will make you forever regret coming here tonight, Potter." The Potions master growled under his breath before roughly grabbing his most-hated student by the arms and pushing him hard against the door. "Read my lips, Mr. Potter: I am not afraid of you. It is you who should be afraid of me."**_

" _ **Why, are you going to take points? Give me detention until the day I die?" The sixteen year-old held his head up, meeting the 36 year-old's heated glare. "Curse me? Cart me off to Voldemort and your Death Muncher pals?"**_

" _ **You are asking for it, Potter!"**_

" _ **So what if I am?" Harry retorted. To his surprise, his most-hated teacher smirked.**_

" _ **No, worse. I am going to make you shut up –"**_

_**And to Harry's even bigger surprise, he found himself being kissed by Severus Snape, Evil Git of the Dungeons and his Ultimate Secret Crush, full on the lips.** _

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

A hard shove broke off the kiss. Severus found himself under the heated mercurial glare of Christian Spane.

"What –did you just say to me?"

"Harry, please –"

"Professor Snape!" A voice rang from down the hall, effectively cutting through the two Professors' conversation.

"What is it, Prefect Wood?" Severus asked, annoyed, as he faced his oncoming 6th year student with schooled features of neutrality. Christian hung back, looking quite detached.

"Sir, a note from the Minister. He says it's urgent. Professor McGonagall sent me with this to find you –" he handed a twice-folded note to the Slytherin Head. Severus grabbed the parchment and scanned it once. But not even half-way through, his eyes were already wide in disbelief.

"But –it can't be… Draco…" He turned to Christian as soon as the last word left his lips. But before he could even say anything else, another oncoming party was heard.

"Professor Snape!"

"Professor Granger?" He turned to the harried-looking Transfiguration witch. "What is it?"

The woman was clearly out-of-breath. Her eyes traveled from the seemingly uncaring Christian to the visibly agitated Severus.

"St. Mungo's called! There's –there's a fire –a fire –your husband –"

Severus paled, his eyes quickly searching for Christian's. The silver at once, met his without hesitation. He then spared a glance at the parchment in his hand. A decision was made in a split-second.

"Professor Granger, please see to my Snakes while I'm gone –I'm going to see my husband." And without further ado, the Potions master ran as fast as he could, towards the nearest apparition point.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

**Severus,**

**We've finally traced the other magical signature present with Harry when the fire occurred. It traced back to an unregistered wand: Cherry, 11 inches, thestral feather core. It was purchased two weeks prior to the crime –in Albania. It was purchased by Draco using your joint Gringotts account. I'm sorry Severus, but it seems that we've got our perpetrator. I do not know how our people had missed this angle in the first place, but we are already investigating possible bribery within our ranks. I assure you, we are exhausting all avenues to find out what went wrong. If Harry is indeed back for revenge, he might be out to get Draco. If it is indeed Bargain with Death that he had employed, Harry dies as soon as his revenge is completed.**

**Kingsley**

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Christian watched the Potions Master's retreating back pensively.

' _Even now, you choose him over me, You've figured me out, and still, you come running to him at the drop of a hat. And I am supposed to believe you regretted everything?'_

The blonde, silver-eyed Defense Professor quietly turned on his heel, his navy robes billowing behind him magnificently. It was an hour away from midnight. He headed straight for the Astronomy Tower.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

"He is still hovering in this realm," a dark figure emerged from the shadows of the Astronomy Tower.

"I know," the man said coolly, no emotion betraying his suddenly prematurely aged face.

"You know what it means if he dies tonight."

"I know," the man countered again in that neutral, lackluster tone. The dark figure drew closer. "I thought you were out to get them both?"

The man shrugged and removed his cloak as he approached the lone window in that part of the tower. The moon shone brightly that night –it was almost full. Silver light hit the man's bright eyes. Tears were just starting to form.

"Deep within me… something deep inside my heart tells me that he never meant to hurt me…"

"That he truly loved you anyway?" The dark figure suggested. "That he still loves you?" The man made no move to outrightly agree or otherwise. Instead, he resolved to gaze longingly at the clear night sky painted outside the tall window.

"He had just left me for him –again. Am I supposed to believe he loves me still, Death?"

Death followed his line of sight. "You don't get it, do you?" A quizzical look crossed the man's face. The dark figure shook its hooded head. "Your Severus is a smart man. He had figured it all out. He left –because he chose you. He knew what the death of the cursed one entailed –"

"You –you mean –"

Death made a nodding gesture. "The only reason that the cursed one's soul still has a fighting chance is because of your Severus –he's fighting hard, anchoring his husband's soul to this realm –"

"What makes you believe that he's doing it for me?" The young man challenged the dark figure. "What makes you think that he's not saving that bastard just because he wanted to?" Tears began to fall from his silver eyes soundlessly. Death lay a gentle hand on the man's shoulder –the bony appendage looked like it was made out of wisps of smoke and stardust against the moonlight.

"What I believe is not important, young Harry. It is your own."

Harry glanced at the hand on his shoulder once, before looking out the window again. "Have I made a mistake by coming back, Death?"

"You tell me, young Harry. Is it not worth making things right that you destroy others in the process?" A long, heartfelt sigh escape Harry's lips. "What do I say to him?"

"You know, Harry, learning from humans, sometimes the best things to say are those that are not thought of in advance," said Death, walking back towards the shadows. Harry followed it with his eyes.

"Is he successful in anchoring the cursed soul?"

Death glanced back at him.

"No, but it doesn't matter. Your purpose has changed. He will be back before the night ends –"

"Wait, what do you mean? I die tonight!" Harry protested. Death however, merely gave him a wave. Then, as it vanished…

"Good luck, Harry."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

-END OF CHAPTER 9-

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	10. The End

**Chapter 10: The End**

Severus did not know which was heavier: the heart pounding against his ribcage, or his boot-clad feet as he ran all the way up to the Astronomy Tower.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

" _ **I'm sorry, sir. Mr. Malfoy is dead."**_

' _ **Not as sorry as I am,' the onyx-eyed man thought ruefully as he slumped down the foot of Draco's bed in the Restoration Ward. The darkest magic… he had attempted to bind his husband's soul to him, to this realm, and he had failed miserably. He had looked on as the equally dejected healers removed all their monitoring charms and covered the slightly mussed up and charred body with a plain white sheet.**_

' _ **Why?'**_

_**Severus Snape had never cried openly. But at that moment, it was as if his sobs and shakes were turned on by an invisible switch. People who saw this could not help but get teary-eyes as well. Here was a seemingly jaded and detached man, mourning his dead husband. Of course, no one knew which of the two he was actually pouring his heart out for.** _

' _ **Harry…' The quiet whisper came on as the room emptied. Was there really a right way to feel when you lose someone twice? Severus closed his eyes. Was there no end to this pain?**_

" _ **He is waiting," an ethereal voice said. The Potions Master immediately opened his eyes. An almost inaudible gasp escaped his lips as he saw who stood before him.**_

" _ **Death?"**_

_**The figure nodded.** _

" _ **We haven't been formally introduced, but your Harry has told me so much about you." Death moved to stand next to the occupied hospital bed. It laid its bony hand to rest atop the unmoving body covered there. "He is waiting for you," it said.**_

" _ **Ha –Harry?" Severus' eyes widened as he straightened himself up. "But –but Draco is dead –How –how could Harry be still alive?"**_

" _ **But he is," countered Death. A tiny ray of hope blossomed forth within Severus, but as soon as it did, it was squashed down by his guilt."Harry –he's alive –his revenge is not yet completed, is it?"**_

_**Death looked at the dark wizard with interest but made no sound. Severus clutched his chest in disbelief. He looked at the specter before him with questioning eyes.** _

" _ **Is Harry –is he out to kill me too? Is my death his purpose?"**_

" _ **Do you honestly believe that?" Death asked him in return. The Potions Master looked ashamed.**_

" _ **No. I –I don't know. I wish I knew –"**_

" _ **Ask him then," said Death, finally removing its hand from Draco's dead body. A ball of red flames came away with it –it promptly disappeared as soon as it left the unmoving remains. Severus did not know whether to marvel at what he saw or what he had heard. Death solved his dilemma for him.**_

" _ **Right now, I have a cursed soul to ferry to the underworld. You, on the other hand, have a wrong to right." It then turned to leave for the shadows. Severus called out to it.**_

" _ **Wait! Where –where do I find him?"**_

_**Death halted in his steps.** _

" _ **The beginning of the end," it said cryptically. Then, it was gone without a trace and Severus Snape was running for his life. As soon as he began though, a whisper sounded in his ear:**_

" _ **You have until midnight."**_

_**And the onyx-eyed man ran faster than he had ever run before in his entire life.** _

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

It was quarter to midnight. The door to the topmost of the Astronomy Tower was ajar. Severus was almost out of breath when he reached it. He pushed it open.

The beginning of the end.

"You've made it," a voice from the shadows said –a painfully familiar voice. Severus held his breath in anticipation. A couple of foot steps sounded against the cold stone floor. His eyes were then captured by the moonlit window. The apparition stood before him, bathed with silver light and gold dust. The ethereal face looked as it did the last time he saw it. The hair was an icy blonde but still messy, and the eyes were most definitely the wrong color, but the way he was drawn to this specter –this man, there was no question. Severus took a tentative step forward, careful not to disturb the vision, had it been one… then another… and another… He stopped at arm's reach. Was this real? An unsure hand gently reached for the pale, glowing face and caressed a cheek. A pitiful sob escaped the Potions Master's lips as soon as he had made contact.

"Oh Harry…" At the utterance of that prayer, Severus felt his body tremble and his resolve crumble completely. He fell to his knees.

"Harry…"

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

" _ **I got your note," Harry said as he flew in from the window of the Astronomy Tower and dismounted his Firebolt. He approached a man who was sitting in the shadows. "I've made it."**_

" _ **So it would seem," the man let a small smile breach his harsh features. "It all ends tomorrow." The man then stood up and met Harry halfway. "I needed to see for myself that you are healthy and whole after your ordeal at Malfoy Manor."**_

_**Harry shook his head before launching himself at the man. "I missed you too, Severus." He pulled back with a grin. "Or should I say, Headmaster Snape?"** _

_**Severus frowned. "Brat, you are not exactly officially enrolled here, so no. And besides, I do not want that title –I never deserved it. It just reminds me of all my failures." He gave his secret lover a once-over. "How are you, really? I heard Miss Granger was subjected to Bellatrix' wand –"** _

" _ **We lost Dobby," Harry sighed, a shaky sob on the verge of escaping his lips. "Malfoy –Draco, that is –helped us escape, no matter how grudgingly. I think there is still hope for him –" He frowned slightly. "He said –he told me he did not want to fail you, that's why he helped us. I wonder what that meant –"**_

" _ **I failed a lot of people," Severus breathed dejectedly, leading the two of them to a nearby bench. His eyes suddenly mirrored all of his difficult 37 years. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep going on –"**_

" _ **Hey," Harry admonished his lover. "You're doing great. All of those children would be long dead had you not been here." He then sighed wistfully. "It is the only thought that makes being away from you bearable –we have parts to play in this war. You're a hero as much as everyone else, Severus Snape. Never forget that."**_

" _ **Sentimental brat," Severus found himself genuinely smiling despite everything, suddenly remembering why he had fallen in love with this young man in front of him, of all people, in the first place. It began as a guilty pleasure he dared not speak of, but the Gryffindor's persistence and unwavering trust in him and his abilities made Severus consider a future with the Chosen One. But still…**_

" _ **Your brat," quipped Harry, giving the man a light peck on the cheek.**_

" _ **Mine," agreed Severus, returning the kiss on his young lover's lips.**_

" _ **So you wanted to see me?" Harry asked as soon as they had both recovered from the kiss. "I assume it entails more than snogging," he joked. "Exchanging battle strategies perhaps? I have to admit right now, all I have in my arsenal is: Don't get killed, Potter."**_

_**Severus raised an eyebrow before sighing. If things had been different, he would have been showing the young man his memories of his conversation with Albus, regarding the necessity of Harry dying in the hands of Voldemort to rid the world of the horcrux that had lodged itself in the famous lightning-shaped scar. But the Gryffindor Golden Trio, under Severus' direction had prevailed yet again, to defy logic –or more specifically, a certain Miss Hermione Granger did. Horcruxes were destroyed by three things: Fiendfyre, Basilisk venom and Goblin-forged Weaponry. Further research by the teens (commandeered by Granger) proved that since a twelve-year old Harry Potter had been already subjected to the venom via the fang that punctured his arm, it had already destroyed the piece of dark soul in the boy then. The visions he was getting after his fourth year were mainly caused by the Dark Lord's usage of his blood to resurrect himself. Albus Dumbledore failed to take this into consideration when he gave his orders to Severus. Dumbledore may not have expected that Severus would develop feelings for the Gryffindor Golden Boy and try to save the said young man from having to walk to his certain death. No, the omniscient former Headmaster did not foresee that. Severus thanked his lucky stars probably for the first time in his life after he received the results of the teens' research. The relief he felt was supreme. The memories Albus had prepared remained in the warded and locked pensieve in the Headmaster's chambers.** _

" _ **I want to talk about us, Harry –"**_

" _ **Oh?" The young man looked positively surprised. "What about?"**_

_**Severus led them both towards the window, where he helped Harry sit on the charm-cushioned sill. "We are at war, Harry. And tomorrow, anything could happen. I merely do not want you to –"** _

" _ **Wait. Are you breaking up with me?" Harry exclaimed, looking much alarmed. Severus stared at the handsome face of his lover, bathed in moonlight: the auburn highlights of his dark, messy locks were more pronounced; the hollows in his cheeks, more defined; the green in his eyes, more vivid, more startling. How could he stand being parted from such a beautiful creature? He held Harry's hands in his own.**_

" _ **Harry, I am a wanted man. Spy or not, there are crimes I've committed. Mud will be thrown at my name should I live to see the day after tomorrow –and if I'm lucky, I would fall at the battle –it is not something you need to deal with –"**_

" _ **Are you even listening to yourself?" Harry spat out heatedly. "Do you really think I would let anything happen to you? Do you honestly see me caring what the rest of the world would think about –about us?" His green eyes were all fired up. "I have fought my whole life for everything –everything I have ever wanted! Should I be ashamed that I am madly, deeply, in love with a man who made mistakes –a man who had paid dearly for those mistakes with the entirety of his life?"**_

_**Harry –"** _

" _ **No, Severus! I am not giving you up! I will not lose you, not now, not tomorrow, not ever!" Tears began to well up in Harry's eyes. "I –I love you, Severus. I am fighting this battle for you –for us. You're my purpose –I already lost too much, please don't take the last thing that matters away from me."**_

_**Severus met the brilliant emerald irises with his own dark, fathomless pools of obsidian and was torn. "I do not want to hurt you, Harry. I know being in a relationship with me is not the easiest thing in the world, but I wish you no further harm. If I live –"** _

" _ **You WILL live! Stop saying it as if your life is forfeit!" Harry yelled, yanking his hands away from his lover's grasp. "Don't push me away! Don't tell me you're doing this to protect me! Because whatever you say, you will never convince me to let you go. I will die before I would even think of letting you go –"**_

" _ **I don't deserve you –" The current Headmaster averted his gaze ashamedly.**_

" _ **Hell you don't!" Harry jumped off his seat, surprising the older wizard. He took Severus' shaking hands in his this time. "You deserve someone better, someone less idiotic, someone more mature, someone who at least knows the difference between minced bat liver and finely chopped slugs!" And like many times before in their brief, clandestine relationship, Severus was lost in those passionate words from his young beloved.**_

" _ **Harry, I –"**_

" _ **What?" The emeralds were ablaze, igniting the dying embers in its obsidian counterpart. Severus took a deep breath before sealing his fate in the final battle.**_

" _ **I love you," he whispered, staring the younger man in the eye. "I love you." he then pulled Harry closer. "I love you." He bestowed a chaste kiss on the scarred forehead, the dainty nose, then finally, the soft, sweet, but sinful lips. "You are –you are just perfect."**_

" _ **I am not," Harry whispered back, pulling away slightly as tears fell from his eyes like the dew the fast-approaching morning was to bring. "But you make me." Severus reached out a lone finger and traced the path of Harry's tears. "I am a fool."**_

" _ **You are," said Harry, a smile now tentatively returning to his face. "You always make me cry, you know."**_

" _ **I am deeply apologetic," Severus amended as he placed another kiss on the slightly parted lips.**_

" _ **For making me cry?" Harry looked up at him. A smirk found its way on the Potions Master's lips.**_

" _ **No, for allowing you to shed tears for me." Harry rolled his eyes.**_

" _ **You and your wordplay –I don't know how I survived dating you without developing brain tumor."**_

" _ **First of all, what we did on our spare time could hardly be construed as dating," Severus began, effortlessly slipping into 'Professor Snape Mode'. "Second of all, I refuse to use that horribly juvenile term –it is hardly unbecoming for a man of my age to be caught dating –especially the Savior of the Wizarding World. And lastly, I don't remember imposing myself on you –quite the contrary. I remembered you, barging into my rooms that one night –"**_

" _ **You kissed me first," said Harry, now laughing. "You bloody pushed me against your door and kissed the living daylights out of me!"**_

" _ **Oh come on, Potter! You were practically asking for it!" The older wizard found himself chuckling. Harry on the other hand, quirked his eyebrows before sighing."I can't complain though… best bloody kiss of my whole so-called life."Severus pulled him close once more.**_

" _ **If you call that your best, then you are seriously one deprived soul."**_

" _ **Do something?" Harry pleaded, batting his rather long lashes playfully. "Can I get my bestest kiss ever tonight, Sev?"**_

" _ **Bestest? Is that even a word?"**_

" _ **Shut up and kiss me, Snape! I did not go all the from the Black Forest just to –"**_

" _ **Insolent brat!" Severus growled right before capturing those lips in a hungry kiss. Harry felt the world around him start to melt away. At that moment, nothing else mattered to him. But just as the sensations began to mount up and threaten to overtake him, Severus pulled away. Harry opened his eyes and lips to protest, but the older wizard was quick enough to silence him.**_

" _ **Harry, I'm sorry, but I have to do this –before anything happens tomorrow."**_

" _ **Do what?" Harry looked at him, clearly confused. "What are you going on about?"**_

_**Without further ado, Severus took a step back, not once breaking contact with his lover's eyes. Harry for his part, held on to the onyx-eyed man's hands, not wanting to risk letting go. A pregnant pause ensued as both men savored their one final moment of peace before all the chaos –the calm before the storm. After a while though, as the tension became already too much, it was Harry who broke the silence first.** _

" _ **Severus? What's the matter?"**_

_**The older wizard took a deep breath, as if to brace himself for a round of 'Crucios' at the Dark Lord's hand. "Harry –I never expected to live past the Final Battle –"** _

" _ **What did I –"**_

" _ **No, let me finish, please." An inaudible swallow ushered in the rest of Severus' words. "I never expected to receive anything in return, the day I accepted my task of protecting you, training you, and eventually loving you… Every single day, I psyche myself up, not to anticipate a relief from my wretched existence." He paused to gather his thoughts. "But you came along. You shattered everything that I had long came to accept as realities. You made me realize the possibility of a reprieve from my hellish life as a double-agent. At first, you rattled me –seeing as how being with you took away all that I knew to be absolute truths. But eventually, I came to acknowledge that my life will never be the same again –that it hadn't been the same since I first saw you look at me on your first night here at Hogwarts. Being nasty to you was the easiest, yet most unpleasant thing I had to ever do in all my years as a reformed Death Eater. It was too late for me to realize that it was not your father's face nor your mother's eyes that I see in you, but a promise of what I could have become had my choices been right –you were a symbol of my failures and I used to resent you for it –but no more." Severus briefly closed his eyes, and Harry could tell how difficult it was for the man to let out his emotions this way. Severus Snape was never demonstrative –ever. Harry held his breath in quiet anticipation of the rest of the man's words.**_

" _ **I'll admit, at first, a relationship with you, a student, was just my way of getting back at the world –my way of telling them to screw themselves. I was rebelling against their expectations of me –the fact that I was enjoying myself was just an added bonus. I felt free –no matter how awful that sounds to you right now –but I felt free whenever I was screwing the Savior behind closed doors without anyone knowing any better –"**_

" _ **But that changed." There was no hint of accusation in Harry's tone. He simply eyed his lover. Severus sighed deeply.**_

" _ **The day I had killed Dumbledore... The day when I had thought you would die from my own wand. I had asked you to stand aside, but you blatantly refused to do so," he shook his head. "That moment I realized that what we had went far beyond retribution and reprieve. Had anything happened to you because of my own hand –I would have –I would have submitted myself to the Dark Lord's mercy after revealing my true allegiance. If I had lost you because of my own foolishness, I would have –"**_

" _ **You would have let him torture you to death?" Harry asked quietly, tightening the grip on Severus' hands. "Sev –"**_

" _ **You are far more important to me now, that when I had begun to realize I have feelings for you. Before, it was an insane notion to even entertain that what we have could progress to anything more. But now…" Severus took no more chances and immediately went down on one knee, effectively rendering his younger lover speechless. With ardor, expectant onyxes stared up towards surprised emeralds.**_

" _ **I have nothing to offer you right now, aside from my words. But if we make it through tomorrow, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"**_

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"Harry…"

Harry watched as the dark-eyed wizard fell to his knees in front of him. He knew what he must do, but as always, his heart won over his mind –and did instead what he had wanted to do. He reached for Severus' tear-stricken face and gently caressed it.

"Severus,"

Expectant onyx irises met hesitant silver ones.

"It –it is you," Severus whispered as his shaky hands reached up to touch the younger man's hands on him. "Harry –oh Harry, forgive me –for hurting you –for leaving you –for doubting –"

"For falling out of love with me?" Harry asked, his tone cold and hard despite the defeated look on his face. Severus' eyes widened as he shook his head fervently.

"No, never. I had stopped believing I deserved you. But never –never have I stopped loving you."

"You doubted me then." Harry held the gaze momentarily before looking away. "You doubted me –after all I've given you –after all we've been through." He released his grip on the older man. He then turned his back on him to face the moonlit window. Severus could only follow the man with his eyes, as the guilt and self-loathing he was feeling rooted him to his spot, on his knees.

"I am sorry, Harry. I am so, so sorry –"

"I told you, it's already too late for that," Harry countered bitterly, stepping away from his once husband, and then lover. "It will be over soon."

"Then, there is only one thing that I ask of you, Harry." Severus said, his voice trembling with fatigue and remorse. "Let me perish by my own hand. You are no murderer –"

"What?" Harry spun around, his eyes sharpening. "Do you think I came back to kill you?" A harsh smile crossed his lips. "I thought you knew me best."

Severus finally rose from his position on the floor.

"You've Bargained with Death… Draco is dead… and you're still alive," he slowly approached the young man. "If my death is not your purpose, then what is it, Harry? Your murderer had been exposed and killed, I've learned about our –our son, Everett," he shook his head. "Why do you still remain here, suffering, if not to bring me down?"

Silver eyes brightened mistily. "Yes, Everett –my brave and strong little one…" as his voice drifted, Harry absently rubbed a spot across his stomach lovingly. But when he realized what he was doing, he stopped and faced his ex-husband. "Severus –"

"Tell me, Harry. Tell me what I can do to ease your burden. Tell me what I need to do to show you how sorry I am," an almost sob escaped the older wizard's lips. "To show you how much I love you still –"

"No, Severus –"

"Please, Harry, believe me, Tell me –anything, I'll do anything –"

"Stop!" Harry cried out. Bells began toiling from afar. It was midnight. Harry stepped away from Severus and towards the window. "Severus –I need to go."

A deep frown crossed the dark wizard's face. "Harry? But –"

"My purpose is completed," said Harry, a forlorn smile gracing his lips. He took another step away from Severus, his eyes never leaving the older man's own. "It is done."

"What –what is done?" A completely perplexed Potions Master asked as he followed his beloved into the moonlight. "What is your purpose, Harry?"

Harry's back was almost against the window sill. With little effort, he sat himself on it, his feet dangling over the edge, facing Severus. The bells were still chiming a low macabre tune. Tears began flowing from his face once more.

"I love you too, Severus. I -I guess I just wanted to hear it from you."

The clock began sounding the individual hours…

"My Harry," Severus took a step forward in an attempt to get closer to the younger man, but a shake of his beloved's head stopped him. "No, Severus, it has to be this way. Death awaits my soul –as does Everett –"

"Can I not at least hold you in my arms?" Came the almost child-like request from the 43-year old wizard. "Harry, there –there is so much more I need to say to you."

The eight hour chimed…

"Severus –"

"Will I ever see you again? Everett?"

The ninth hour…

"I'm sorry, but not for long," whispered Harry as he stood upon the narrow ledge. The clear night sky was an impressive backdrop behind him. Severus thought that he had never seen anything as beautiful.

"Can I not go with you –now?"

The tenth hour…

Harry shook his head.

"There is something else you need to do for me…"

"What is it, Harry? Anything –tell me!"

The eleventh hour…

"Live. Live for me, my Severus."

"Harry?"

"Live, so that you may learn to forgive yourself –as I have."

Finally, the twelfth hour… Throwing caution to the wind, Severus closed the gap between Harry and him in one stride and pulled the young man in a tight hug… then, one final kiss…

"I love you, Harry –" he closed his dark eyes, not able to bear seeing what was to happen next. A swift force tore him away from the one he loved the most. There was an unseen gush of wind that swept through that dimmed room atop the Astronomy Tower like a small tornado. By the time the air had finally calmed down, Severus dared to open his eyes…

His arms were empty.

He was alone.

His knees finally gave way as tears spilled from his eyes like a never-ending downpour. It hurt to lose someone once, but it never compared to the pain of losing someone again. The moonlight continued to stream through the window as Severus' bare palms met the stone floor. By the time he had managed to get up though, it was already sunlight that greeted his pale face.

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

Bright lights welcomed Harry. His eyes were closed, but the glare still seeped right through.

"Welcome home, Harry." A familiar voice to his right said. The young man opened his once-more brilliant emerald eyes and took in his surroundings. A dark figure stood beside him. "Death?"

"Finally," said Death. "Congratulations on getting your hair back to normal, by the way. I really think that blonde hair looks atrocious on you –"

"Wait, where am I? What is this place?" Harry asked looking around. Everything was seemingly made out of water and white smoke. "Is this the Afterlife?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Death gestured around. "It's not much, but it's home." Harry looked puzzled. "Quite a nice place to spend my cursed eternity at."

Death chuckled. "What cursed eternity are you talking about? You really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" The emerald-eyed man frowned. "I sold my soul for eternal damnation in exchange for another chance, for revenge. What are you going on about?"

"Did you now?" Death appeared to be in deep thought. 'I thought I gave you that chance because you were favorite, young Harry –"

"Death –"

Death held both its hands up in surrender. "Your soul, no matter how vengeful it has become, belongs here, in this realm. Your heart remains pure and steadfast –"

"But I killed somebody!" Harry exclaimed. "Should I not be burning in the fires of Hell?" Death shook his head and sighed. "Tell me, Harry –can someone evil love? Hurt ? Cry? Forgive?" It laid a gentle hand on the young man's shoulder. "If you think of yourself that way, then you will be no different from Tom Marvolo Riddle –"

"I'm not like him!" Harry protested. "I'll never be like him!"

"He killed in the same way as you did," explained Death. "Revenge was his purpose. His method was quite similar to the one you used –"

"But I'm not a monster!"

"There you go," smiled Death. "The one thing you are not that earns you a chance to spend the rest of your existence in this realm. You only fault was love, Harry. As long as there is love in your heart, you cannot be damned in Hell –there is always a choice –there is always hope for those who lose themselves in the darkness of their souls and yet, can still forgive others and most especially themselves." Death paused. "Redemption, ever heard of it?"

"You make it sound like Malfoy was a necessary evil that I had to get rid of," observed Harry. "You give me a weapon and pat me on the head for killing someone –"

"Think of it in whatever way you want, Harry. But I assure you, killing Draco Malfoy was by no means an act that you should be proud of. However, what you should be proud of is the capacity of your heart to forgive –"

"Severus?" Harry clarified. "You mean because I forgave him, I was saved from the fires of Hell?" Death kept smiling at him, its wispy, smoky face, taking on an uncharacteristic brightness to it. "Call forth your Reverse Patronus –the one your heart has produced in deep hatred and loathing of the man who had once loved and betrayed you. You will realize what I mean."

Harry closed his eyes and did as he was told. A few seconds later, he opened his eyes, surprise evident in his face. "How –what –"

He couldn't do it.

"Yes, your final act of forgiveness cleansed your soul. Yes, you killed a cursed man, and by no means was it the right thing to do. But you must realize, Harry that it takes greater strength to forgive and blindly accept your fate than it dose to exact revenge. The mere fact that you welcomed your damned fate with open arms says much about your strength of character. In the end, you managed to do what even the greatest of men had failed to achieve –you have pulled away from the darkness that was rooting in your heart –from the intoxicating lure of power. Yes, it took you killing an individual to realize that, but there is never a time-limit on repentance. Had you not learned to let the anger go in the end, you would have been nothing unlike the one they call Voldemort, nothing unlike Draco Malfoy –"

"I killed him," Harry reasoned out. "He was asking me not to, but I still went ahead –"

"You did." Death agreed. "Do you want to know of an alternate reality in which you never employed the Death Warrant Curse?"

Harry met the question with curious eyes. Death waved his hand around absently.

"You did not make the choice to come back, Harry. Draco Malfoy got away with your and your son's murder. Four years later, he and Severus become fathers to a little boy –they named him Albus Harrison –"

"I somehow doubt Malfoy would agree to that name," Harry interjected. Death gave him a look.

"He didn't. It caused a rift between the two of them. As Severus was the one to carry little Al, he got custody of the boy after a seriously messy Divorce suit –not that Draco was interested in raising a son anyway."

"The bastard –"

"Severus contracted a previously undiscovered strain of Wizard Pox in one of his many forays into gathering Potions ingredients. His loneliness, coupled with his failing health drove him to an early death –"

"He didn't –"

"Al was eight when his maternal father died. By this time, Draco Malfoy was already deeply entrenched into the world of muggle prostitution and was in no way fit to be a parent. The child was sent to an orphanage –a magical one. But still, his less than desirable heritage of being a son of two former Death Eaters, afforded him a less than desirable treatment in the hands of his supposed caregivers –"

"Let me guess, Tom Riddle the second?" Harry shook his head. "Are you sure you aren't just trying to make me feel better with regards to my choice, Death?" Death chuckled.

"So what if I was? You don't have to believe me, Harry. Nothing is set in stone, just like your fate is not certain the moment you had asked for my help in exacting revenge. You always had a choice. And you made the right one eventually –that is all that matters." Death began to pace before the still contemplative young man.

"Harry, there is never a right or wrong formula. Sometimes, all we need are words –sometimes, we need to move and conquer worlds."

"It sounds too simple," said Harry. Death eyed him pointedly.

"Sometimes… it just is. Is that so hard to accept?"

"But –"

"No buts." Death declared with an air of finality. "Your soul belongs here. And besides, who would take care of Everett if you are not around? I may have an endless stream of baby sitters volunteering, but really, all they do is spoil him rotten! Do you want that for your son?" Death quipped. "You should really have a talk with Snuffles and Prongs… taking the little boy on broom rides! What were they thinking?"

"What –" Harry shook his head good-naturedly. "I will. A little hex or two would teach them not to corrupt my son." The young man stood up from his spot and was about to see to his well-missed little one, when he remembered to ask Death.

"What happens in the future, now –now that I've made my choice?"

Death gave him a knowing look.

"You will find out in nine months."

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**

-END OF CHAPTER 10-

**0101010101010101010101010101010101010**


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isthe EPILOGUE. It has been one amazing journey of mystery and revenge. I hope you enjoy the last hurrah for Ashes as much as I did writing it. This is especially dedicated to those who took the time to review and offer me words of encouragement, not only during the posting of the individual chapters, but during the writing as well. This story was completed on January 15, 2013 –almost a year from the publication of this Epilogue. By the way, I'm still open to feedback and suggestions. You'll never know when a new tale would sprout from my convoluted mind. -C.
> 
> LEGEND:
> 
> "Dialogue/ speech" 'Thoughts'Notes/ flashback

**EPILOGUE: Everett**

"Papa! Papa!"

A young boy of no more than eight was seen running across the grounds of Hogwarts, carrying a small satchel. His dark, messy hair blew across his face as the gentle breeze moved with him. His steps were light and quick like thunderbolt, and the smile on his lips were like sunshine.

"Papa! Papa!"

The man he had called 'Papa' was by the front steps of the mammoth Castle –as usual, patiently, eagerly awaiting his son. The smile on the man's lips widened as he saw his boy come running towards him.

"Papa!" The boy's eyes were shining with amusement by the time he had finally reached his Papa's side. "Papa, look! I found an Emerald Lily in the Forbidden Forest! It was growing near Hagrid's Hut, would you believe that? I found an Emerald Lily! I found an Emerald Lily!"

The man chuckled, seeing his boy jump up and down in excitement. He gently grabbed a hold of his son's shoulders in an attempt to stop him from bouncing.

"Alright, alright. Let's show it to your Father then, shall we?"

The little boy halted in his steps, before rolling his eyes, his dark irises flashing. "Really, Papa. I found a rare plant in the forest –and that is all you say?" The man laughed at his son's woefully indignant tone. He ruffled the boy's already messy mop top hairdo. "I'm not the Potions Master here, so forgive my inadequate reaction to your astonishing discovery."

The boy ducked from under his arm and tried to flatten his hair out. "Really, Papa –anything but the hair. It is enough that I get teased by Uncle Ron that it looks like a wild Hippogriff's nest! I mean, it's nowhere near Aunt Mione's –"

The man laughed harder. "Do you know that that Hippogriff's nest doubles as a Cushioning Charm? If it wasn't for that hair, I don't know how many times my skull would have cracked open from falling off of brooms."

"Father says I can't ride brooms or play Quidditch until I'm forty," the little boy looked positively mortified. "He's merely joking, isn't he?"

"I'm sure he is," the man gave his son a reassuring pat on the back. "You Father is just being protective of you. he loves you very much –as I do."

The little boy smiled and enveloped his Papa in a tight hug.

"I know, Papa. I love you too."

The man returned the hug. "No matter what, remember that I am always with you, okay? I'm proud of you, my Everett –"

"Everett! Where are you?" Another voice rang from a distance. The little boy named Everett gently pulled away from the embrace.

"That's Father! I need to show him my Emerald Lily!" Tiny feet carried the boy across the main hall to the entrance to the dungeons. The man by the Entrance Hall could only look, following his son with brilliant emerald eyes filled with longing.

"Father, look –an Emerald Lily!"

The man called 'Father' bent down to receive his son in a hug, pride evident in his fathomless onyx irises. "Will you look at that?" He eyed his son's find appreciatively. "Let us place it in a nice pot away from sunlight –I will then teach you to brew the Wizard Pox Cure."

"Okay," said Everett. "But Father, can I say goodbye to Papa first?"

"Papa?" Everett's father's eyes widened momentarily. The surprise on his face quickly softened however, as realization hit him. The dark-eyed man glanced around, as if trying to find someone, or something. After a few awkward moments, he relented and sighed. "Of course, son. Tell your Papa that I miss him and I love him, okay?"

Everett looked at his Father curiously for a moment, before shaking his head. "You can tell him yourself, Father," Everett pointed towards the direction of the main entrance. "He is just right there. Sometimes he's with a little baby with the same name as mine –but today, he's all alone. Maybe you can talk to him!"

For a moment there, hope was kindled anew I the dark-eyed man's spirit.

' _Has it really been eight years, Harry?'_

But as soon as it ignited, it was snuffed out. The man shook his head sadly, his obsidian eyes brightening with unshed tears. "I can't see him nor hear him, Everett. Even if he is there, I won't be able to speak to him nor touch him," he sighed meaningfully. "Only you can do so, it seems –"

"How is that possible, Father?" Everett furrowed his brows. "How come only I can see him?"

Severus Snape met his son's questioning eyes with a tiny, sad smile.

"Your Papa –he's been dead for a long time, even before you were born."

"So, Papa –Papa's a ghost?" Everett frowned. "I thought ghosts were supposed to be scary like the Bloody Baron… and aren't they supposed to be transparent like Sir Nicholas? Why does Papa look so nice –so real? Why is it that I could touch him if he's a ghost?"

The onyx-eyed man looked unsure. How do you explain to an eight-year old that his Papa was once the Master of Death –Death's Favorite? As he rocked his brain for the appropriate response to his son's query, the little boy beat him to it.

"I guess Papa's special," Everett said, smiling. "He has to be."

Severus found himself unable to resist mimicking his son's countenance.

"That he is, Everett. That he is."

"But if he's a special ghost –does that mean the little boy is too? Is my baby brother a ghost too?" Everett scratched his head. "How is Papa able to have me with you if he's already dead before I was conceived then?"

"A potion, my Everett," his Father said. "Remember the story –"

"Oh, yes!" The boy's face brightened. "I remember now! You made a potion –with Papa's blood!"

Severus nodded. "Yes I did, Everett. I love your Papa so much that I wanted to have a part of him with me while he's away with you brother –so I had you." Everett smiled.

"They can hear you, Father."

"Who?"

"Papa –and the baby. They are right behind you now."

Severus spun around, his dark hair flipping sharply in the cold morning air. "Ha –Harry?" He whispered as his hands tried to reach out for a specter at the spot behind him –one that he definitely could not see.

The one called 'Papa', who was once also known as Harry-Potter Snape and Christian Spane smiled, a small bundle wrapped in the palest icy blue nestled in his arms. As his former husband's hands wandered, he too, reached out to try and make a physical connection. Sadly, it wasn't to be. As Death's Favorite, he could only appear as a corporeal specter to one person –he chose his second son, Everett Harry Potter-Snape*. As much as he had wanted Severus to see him, it couldn't happen now. There would be another time for that.

"Severus… I forgive you. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. I await the time we will see each other again."

Severus thought he was hearing things, as a mild gust of wind blew across his cheek –much like a lover's kiss. He turned to his son, who was smiling. "Everett, did your Papa say something? What –what did he say?"

Everett, receiving a wink and a warm smile from his Papa, repeated the dead man's words.

"Severus… I forgive you. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. I await the time we will see each other again."

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-END OF STORY-

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> *Legally, since Everett II was born of both Harry and Severus, he is entitled to carry the Potter surname –even if Severus and Harry are no longer married and Harry is already dead.
> 
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> 
> A/N: *Cries* Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience with me, dear reader. Please feel free to take the time to leave a final note regarding your experience in reading this story. I hope to see you in any of my future works. In the mean time, you can keep in touch with me at:
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